


The Mission

by MagicGirlWrites



Category: Calzona - Fandom, Grey's Anatomy, arizona robbins - Fandom, callie torres - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-29 19:20:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 36,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10142159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicGirlWrites/pseuds/MagicGirlWrites
Summary: Callie Torres shows up in Seattle to visit her friends Teddy and Owen, she has a secret she is hiding and needs to take care of it. But the secret involves Arizona Robbins, the sister of her friend Tim.





	1. Chapter 1

Arizona sat down in her seat, a big smile on her face, hoping to hide the really big butterflies in her stomach. She didn't like flying, it was a necessary evil she felt and would much rather stay on the ground where she was safe, but there were occasions such as this one that made it necessary to fly. She grabbed the earbuds out of her bag and got her music ready to help her through the flight then glanced up at the woman that was getting ready to sit next to her.

The woman had her back to Arizona as she was talking to the flight attendant on board. She was dressed in army fatigues and was carrying a large bag with her. Finally she turned to sit down and Arizona noticed how beautiful the woman was. Long black hair pulled back into a bun, and beautifully tanned skin probably from being deployed. Arizona saw the Red Cross on her arm and knew she was medical personnel. 

Callie glanced at the woman next to her because she was staring and gave her a curt smile.

“Would you like the window seat? I don't actually like the window, but I'll sit there, but if you enjoy it, I'd gladly trade with you. I'm actually scared of flying. My friend Teddy says it's because I don't like to lose control, and I will admit I'm type A, but I just don't want to die. Or crash. I think the crash would be worse than the actual dying. Don't you?” Arizona looked at the brunette that was staring at her and blushed a little. She was doing it again. “I talk when I get nervous. I don't mean to it just happens. So are you coming or going?”

Callie scrunched up her eyes unsure of what the woman was asking.

“From overseas, I recognized your infantry number and I know it's one that's been deployed in Iraq and was curious if you are coming or going?”

“Coming home...or back I should say.” Callie didn't have a home, but the perky blonde wouldn't understand that. 

“Wow, well congratulations, really, your family must be so excited to see you and do proud of all the amazing work you've done while you were over there. It must feel amazing to be home after being gone. I would like to extend my gratitude to you and say ‘thank you, for all your time served.”

Callie gave the blonde a small smile and looked past her out the window. Home. There was that word again. Where was home now? She had no idea, and felt the tears creep up in her eyes as she thought about it. She quite literally had nothing other than the bag with her clothes, she had never in her entire life had so little to call her own. 

Arizona watched as the woman next to her seemed to pass through some sort of an emotional voyage. She could see the sadness pass over her and wondered what it was.

“Hey!” She said a little too loudly and made the woman jump. “Oops, sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I have a joke for you. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?” Callie just stared at the blonde, not quite sure what was going in. So she shrugged at her. “A buck an ear!” Arizona laughed and laughed while the brunette just continued to stare at her

“No? Okay then how about this, knock knock.”

Arizona gave the brunette an encouraging look. “Who's there?” Callie asked.

“Cow go.”

“Cow go who.”

“No! Cow go mooooo.” Arizona laughed again but the woman didn't even crack a smile.”boy, those were some of my best jokes, you didn't even flinch!” Arizona rolled her eyes a little and looked away for a moment.

Callie had no idea why the strange blonde woman was telling her jokes, bad jokes at that, so she turned her head and stared at the seat in front of her and closed her eyes. 

Arizona looked back and gave the woman a little frown. She had tried her hardest to get a small smile from her, but nothing. The woman looked so incredibly sad and all Arizona wanted to do was at least try to see a smile from the woman.

Callie nervously put her hand to her pocket and felt the envelope in there, then rested her hands back in her lap. She had one mission in Seattle and she wasn't going to screw it up. She had promised to deliver this letter and there was no way she was going to fail. 

“So...is Seattle home?”

Callie opened her eyes and peeked over at the woman. She was relentless. “No, just a stop.” She closed her eyes again and faced forward. 

“Then what?” Arizona asked.

Callie opened her eyes, again, but continued to look forward. She didn't have an answer to that. She was going to deliver the envelope then quickly visit her two army buddies and after that….she had no idea. Where would she go? What would she do? 

“Hello?” Arizona asked. She was interested in the brunette but was also interested in keeping herself occupied and not looking out the window where the ground was moving farther and farther away. 

“I have absolutely no idea.” Callie said honestly for the first time out loud. Most people didn't press this much but for some reason the blonde had a need to ask questions.

“But you're going to Seattle?”

“For now.”

The woman was very quiet Arizona had to admit, she was looking forward to a little more talk from her but no matter what she said she barely got anything. 

“What will you do in Seattle?”

“Visit a few buddies.”

“Like war buddies?” Arizona asked and the brunette turned her head to look at the blonde. Callie looked at her really hard, and noticed she was beautiful for the first time. How had she not seen that before? When had she stopped noticing beautiful women? Was that new? “War buddies?” Arizona said again and pulled the brunette out of her fog.

“What? Oh..yeah...war buddies.” She touched her pocket again and felt the envelope in her pocket, she felt the need to make sure it was there. “And someone else.” She gave up and it caused Arizona to be a little surprised.

“Someone else? You're visiting war buddies then someone else?”

“Yeah,” Callie said and rested her hands on her lap while she closed her eyes. She needed some sleep. Exhaustion had set in about two years prior and she hadn't been able to shake it, though she was hoping it might get a little better now that she was back in the states.

“Are you going to sleep?” Arizona asked quietly, unsure if the woman was once again resting her eyes or if she was actually going to take a nap.

“I was planning on it.”

Arizona waited a full sixty seconds before another question was asked.

“Will anyone be waiting for you when you get off the plane?”

Callie opened her eyes and looked at the blonde. “No. There is no one. No one knows I'm coming home. And no one cares.” She stared at the blonde hoping she'd get the hint to stop asking so many questions.

“Your family doesn't know?”

“I don't have any family.” Callie told her and closed her eyes again. 

“None?”

Callie shook her head and Arizona was almost positive she saw a tear in the corner of her closed eyes.

“I'm sorry. If you were my family I'd be waiting with a giant banner that said welcome home…” And she realized she didn't know the woman's name.

Callie realized the blonde was wishing for her name to be said so she opened her wet eyes and looked at the blonde who was staring back at her.

“Callie Torres.”

“Welcome home Callie Torres! That's what my banner would say.”

“Well we aren't family, so I'll just be entering the Seattle airport on my own.”

“You don't have to. I could take you anywhere you want to go. You can pretend like I'm your family. Come on, what do you say? Everyone needs some family.”

Callie looked at the perky blonde and wondered briefly if she ever stopped talking. “I'm making one stop, visiting two buddies and making one delivery then I am on my way.”

“But you said you didn't know where to go after those things, so you must not be in any hurry. How about this, where are you headed in Seattle? Where are these buddies and the delivery?”

“Seattle Grace hospital.”

“Wait! I'm going there! I work there! I've been at a medical conference and now I'm on my way back home. I could take you to the hospital. Wait! Are you going to visit Teddy and Owen?”

Callie nodded and saw how enthusiastic the blonde was all of a sudden.

“Teddy is my best friend! I'm Arizona!”

The color drained from Callie's face at the mention of the name and her hand went involuntarily to her pocket and touched the envelope. Her delivery was sitting next to her.


	2. Chapter 2

“...And then Teddy just stood under the rain, just letting it drop over her body while I ran around like a crazy woman trying to gather our things and simultaneously trying not to get soaked.” Callie stared out the window at the rain as drops ran down the window of the car, slowly, one after another. She raised her hand and traced one as it ran down the window, from the top of her window to the seal of the car. She glanced over at the blonde that had finally stopped talking, and she was staring at Callie. Arizona gave Callie a huge smile, causing Callie to turn away and look back at the rain drops. How had this happened? She had let the blonde talk her into taking her to the hospital to see Teddy and Owen, she wanted to say no, but for so many reasons, she had said yes.

She wasn't sure even if she had said “no” the blonde would have been okay with it, she was a bit relentless and seemed to be overly chipper. Callie glanced back at the blonde while she drove and was immediately given a smile that showed off her dimples.

“So when Teddy showed up here I told her right away, we are going to be friends, because I’m an awesome friend. An amazing friend! You'll see Callie Torres, just you wait, you won't be sorry that we became friends.” Callie wasn't so sure about that.

“Teddy was living in a hotel when she first got here but at the same time I had just lost my roommate so I asked her to move in with me. Crazy, right? How long have you known her?”

“A few years.” Callie traced another rain drop down the window; it was beautiful.

“A few years! That's crazy! She's never mentioned you, not once. That's so weird,” she caught her faux paw right away and backtracked, “but maybe I just wasn't paying close attention, I'm sure she's mentioned you. That's it I'm sure, she probably talks about you all the time and I just am not paying enough attention.” Callies glanced back over at the blonde and a small smile finally graced Callie’s lips, it was small, and brief but it was there. And the blonde saw it. “Hey! I saw that! What was that for? I've been sitting next to you for five hours, trying to catch a smile and now you smile?? When I make an ass of myself?”

Callie stared at the blonde. He was right, she was beautiful, smart and funny.

“Hello?”

“Sorry, you caught me off guard,” Callie turned away, unable to look at the blonde any longer, fear that another smile might break out.

“No! That's good, come on, smile again, please? I'd do just about anything right now to see a smile on your face, you just look….so sad. So please, a smile? For me?”

Callie couldn't look back at the woman, she wouldn't allow it. “It looks like we're here,” Callie saw the hospital in front of them and was glad for the change in subject. She needed to get away from the blonde before she revealed too much, there was a chance of verbal diarrhea taking over her mouth at any moment, and she needed to make sure that didn't happen. 

As Arizona swung into a spot Callie had her door open and was hopping out before the car was in park. Callie grabbed her bag and stood behind the vehicle waiting on the blonde to join her, as much as she wanted to get away from Arizona, she knew it would be bad form if she ditched her in a parking lot. 

“Ready?” Callie asked as Arizona joined her and the pair started to walk. Arizona scowled a little as the started toward the hospital, the woman was so standoffish, and Arizona had been nothing but nice since she met her but had only been placed on the other side of a very tall wall. Arizona found herself walking much faster than her normal leisurely pace and kicked out her heelys to keep up with the other woman.

“What is that?” Callie stopped and pointed at Arizona's shoes with an unreadable look on her face.

“Heelys.” Arizona said, but the word was barely out of her mouth before Callie had begun walking again. Arizona two stepped it again and caught back up to the brunette.

“You're going to kill yourself on those.” Callie said gruffly as the went along. She could see the door now, she was so close to not having to talk to the blonde anymore.

“No I'm not!! I wear these all the time!”

“In the parking lot? Or inside? Because what if you hit a tiny pebble? You'd break your neck, and then what?” Callie opened the door, holding it for the blonde that just stared at her, not moving into the building. Arizona glared at her and entered the building, muttering to herself about rocks and marines and shoes. She was not happy. “Thanks for the ride, Arizona, I really appreciate it,” Callie looked up the giant entranceway and wondered where her friends were.

“Well I'm not leaving you now, I'll help you find Teddy and Owen, come on,” Arizona was feeling a little foul now after finally reaching the last straw with the woman when she insulted her shoes. She loved her heelys, the kids loved them, they made her faster, what did this woman know. “Follow me.”

Arizona headed towards the elevators, leading the brunette away from the lobby.

Xxxxxx

Arizona spotted Teddy standing by a nurses station filling out charts when they headed down the hall. She saw her friend look up and gave her a big smile and wave but Teddy wasn't interested in Arizona and instead dropped what she was doing and took off at a full sprint for them and wrapped herself around Callie in a huge hug nearly taking the brunette woman down as she wrapped herself around Callie. She watched the two hold each other and saw the tears streaming down Teddy’s face, and couldn't believe what she saw. Teddy was arguably the toughest woman she had never met and in her time of being friends with her she had never seen so much as a glimmer of wetness in her eyes, but now she saw the tears pouring down her face.

“You made it.” Teddy whispered and she saw Callie’s head bob up and down while still being held tight by the dirty blonde. “God I'm glad to see you, I've missed you more than you'll ever know.”

This caused Arizona to raise her eyebrows, how was this woman so important to Teddy, yet never once had she heard a name, seen a picture or even a hint that this person existed.

Arizona cleared her throat to remind the duo she was there but they didn't seem interested as they continued to hold each other. Arizona made a small face and wondered if she should just walk away from them, how rude was that? Then finally they pulled away allowing Arizona to inspect them both. While Teddy was still crying, she could see that Callie also had tears in her eyes and had been crying with the other blonde.

“Um, Arizona?” Teddy said unsure why the perky blonde was standing with them.

“Hey, I walked Callie in to find you.”

“Actually Arizona gave me a ride here, we were seated next to each other on the plane,” Callie told Teddy, their arms still linked as they talked, Teddy’s eyebrows rose and eyes widened as she heard that news and looked at her friend who was scowling slightly at the two of them.

“How long are you here for?” Teddy asked looking back at the brunette and choosing to ignore Arizona.

“Not long, I came to see you and Owen, then I have something quick to do and I'll be on my way.”

Teddy nodded her head, glancing at Arizona then back at the brunette. “Yeah, that's probably for the best. Want me to go with you to find Owen?” Callie nodded her head, picked up her bag that she had dumped then looked at the blonde that was standing in the hall, still so very unsure of all that was happening.

“Thanks so much for the ride Arizona...and all the company,” Callie have her a curt smile and turned so she wouldn't have to look the blonde in the eyes anymore. She couldn't bear it.

Teddy pulled Callie along the hallway, making their way through the hospital, and once she knew they were finally long out of war shot of the blonde she finally spoke.

“So, you going to explain what that was all about?”

Callie shook her head, not wanting to elaborate.

“And you're not staying?” Another shake of the head. “You sure?”

“I really don't think anything good could come of it. Do you?”

Teddy gave her a sad look and shook her head. “No, probably not. Come on, I see Owen up ahead.”


	3. Chapter 3

“How has Owen been?” Callie asked Teddy as they walked down the corridor. She could see him up ahead and he looked so much better than the last time she had seen him. He was smiling, something she had a hard time bringing herself to do these days, and he had a look of carefree about him. She felt a pang of jealousy as she watched him. He looked normal, she wondered briefly what that get like and if she would ever feel that again.

“He's been good, things were hard on him for a long time but he's been seeing someone and that has helped…”

“Like a shrink?” Callie stopped walking.

“Yeah, it's really worked for him,” Teddy wasn't sure how much she should reveal about Owen and his battles and decided that wasn't her story to tell. “Come on, he's going to be excited to see you,” Teddy said and pulled the brunette along a little farther until Owen lifted his head head up and saw them standing a few feet from him. 

Owen swore for a moment he saw a ghost when he looked up and saw Callie Torres standing in front of him. He couldn't believe his eyes when she moved towards him and it was then that he knew it wasn't a dream, that his friend was actually standing in front of him.

“Callie,” he said and engulfed her in a hug. The sort of hug that said he had no plans to let her go anytime soon. Callie held onto him just as strong as she had held onto Teddy just moments before, so glad for the physical contact of friends.

Finally Owen pulled back a little and looked at his friend in the eyes and could see decades worth of pain and torture residing there. He knew this was going to be tough for not just her but everyone around them. She had the potential to ruin so many lives, and yet he knew he had to help her. She deserved his help and he was going to make sure she got it. It was the least he could do for the woman that saved his life.

“It's so good to see you, I've missed you,” he told her with a smile on his face, and he felt her give his shoulder a little extra squeeze. “Let's get out of the hall, come on,” he pulled her with him, Teddy following behind as they walked into a conference room and sat down.

“What are your plans?” He finally asked her once they were all settled.

“I wanted to stop and see the two of you, I just got back to the states and I needed to see you both before I could do anything else. Beyond that, I haven't thought of where to go, I don't have anywhere to go, so I was considering maybe traveling for a little while, seeing what fit and felt right.”

Owen listened to his friend and didn't like what he was hearing, he knew she needed support now from friends and colleagues and was well aware they were the only support system she had. 

“What if you worked here?”

“What?!” Both women asked at the same time.

“We are short an orthopedic surgeon at the moment and we could definitely use more trauma surgeons around here and I know you are certified in both, why don't you stay here? It might be good for you to put down some roots, and find a place to call home.”

Callie listened to her friend and wasn't convinced that this was the best thing for her. The thought of staying in Seattle hadn't occurred to her, and now that it was presented to her, she wasn't sure what the correct answer was. If she stayed she would have to find a place to live. She grabbed her pocket and felt the envelope was still in fact there and felt a little relief as well as a little anxiety.

“You could move in with me of you wanted,” Teddy spoke up finally causing them both to look at her. “You can sleep on my couch for as long as you want.”

“Don't you live with Arizona?” Teddy gave her a nod.

“How about me? I have an extra bedroom and it's all yours,” Owen told her and all three looked up as the conference room opened.

“Owen? They need you in the pit,” Cristina Yang poked in and saw the three very serious people sitting and staring back at her.

“Cristina, this is my friend Callie Torres, we served together, I told her she could stay with us for awhile. Callie this is my wife Cristina.”

“You're married?” Callie asked quickly and looked towards Teddy, who was choosing not to make eye contact with anyone at the moment.

“Umm, I guess it's okay. Are you loud?” 

“Cristina, don't grill her. I've also offered her a job here, so the two of you will be seeing a lot of each other.”

“Oh, what's your specialty?” Cristina seemed genuinely interested. 

“I'm double certified in Orthopedics and Trauma,” Callie finally spoke up. “And no, I'm not loud, or messy and I also haven't said yes to any of this.”

“Do you have any other offers?” Cristina asked.

“Cristina…” Owen started.

“Come on, I just want to know, why not take this offer if no one else has offered you anything.”

“It's not that simple,” Callie spoke up again. “Let me think about it, I'll get back to you by the end of the day,” Callie stood up since Owen was leaving she figured she probably should too.

“Take your time Callie, here is a key to my place if you want to go there and rest, I should be off around six and will be home, we can have a good talk.”

“Why don't we go out? Meet us at Joe’s after work so we can buy you a drink?” Cristina told the brunette but knew Owen was going to try to shoot her down by the look on her face. “Seriously it will be fun and if you want to eat dinner that's your best bet because I'm don't cook and there's no food in the house except cereal.”

Callie shrugged and looked at Teddy with an expectant look wondering if she would be there too.

“I'll go if you go,” Teddy told her.

“Then I guess we're going to Joe’s,” Callie stated and grabbed her bag again.

“How about some lunch?” Teddy asked when they left the conference room. “I don't have another surgery for a couple hours and I need to eat something before then.”

“Sure, sounds good,” Callie followed her friend out of the room.

“Why don't you drop your bag in my office that way you don't have to keep lugging it around, you can grab it later.”

Xxxxxx

Callie was sitting in the cafeteria watching all the people bustle in and out of the room, they were all so carefree; eating and working. She couldn't stop watching the people as they came and went. They were making small choices like coffee or tea, soda or juice, decisions that she had long given up making. She looked down at the food on her tray and realized it was the first meal she had had since leaving Iraq. 

“Callie?” She heard and looked up, she could tell by Teddy’s voice she had been calling her.

“Sorry.”

“It's okay, I get it. I was overwhelmed when I came back too. The choices. Don't go to the grocery store anytime soon. I stared at toothpaste for thirty minutes once until a clerk came over to help me. I think they were scared something was wrong with me,” Teddy grabbed her yogurt and started to eat it and saw Callie look at her tray again. 

“I don't think I'm hungry,” she said and pushed it forward a little.

“Hey!” They both heard a very loud voice say, the voice was a little too loud and startling causing Callie to jump simultaneously hitting the table from underneath it with her legs and disrupting her drink, spilling it down the front of her fatigues.

“Shit!” She yelled and stood up, watching the drink soak into her clothes while dropping all over the floor. “I'll get some napkins,” she said and took off for the front to get a rag to clean up the mess.

“Robbins, you need to tone it down around her, scaring the crap out of someone that just came back from heavy infantry is not a good idea. You can't walk up on her and scare her like that.”

“I'm sorry, it never even occurred to me,” she grabbed her napkins and started to clean up the mess. “And since when do you call me Robbins?” Arizona was feeling slightly bad and embarrassed about scaring the brunette, she seemed to only be able to screw up around Callie.

“Sorry, it was instinct being with her and Owen. I just….can you please be careful around her?”

“Yeah of course,” she said while trying to clean up the mess with the napkins she had.

“So what did you think of Owen’s offer?” Teddy asked Callie once everything was cleaned up, all three of them were sitting in awkward silence. Arizona had to literally keep biting her tongue so she wouldn't start telling jokes to fill the void. She hated quiet lulls in conversation and felt the need to fill them whenever they arose, but the company she was keeping on this particular day told her such unnecessary conversations would not be met with warm hearts.

“What offer?” Arizona asked picking at her salad, Callie watched as she methodically removed each onion that was on the salad and placed them to the side. It was so monotonous to watch, such a small task, one she didn't even know she was doing, but Callie watched as she removed twelve onion slices from her salad and placed them on her tray. 

“Owen offered an attending spot to Callie.”

“Really? What's to think about?”

“He also offered her a room.”

“Yikes! Why didn't you offer her our couch?”

“I did, but Owen offered her a room, which is probably better, a whole room to herself rather than a couch in our living room.”

“Yeah but sharing an apartment with Cristina and Owen? Sounds horrible. I've heard them, they are loud, if you know what I mean.”

The two continued to carry on their conversation while Callie watched as they ate, Teddy moved methodically from yogurt to Apple to carrots, while Arizona stabbed her salad in a way that made Callie think she didn't like it, but chose to eat it anyway. 

Would she take the job? Live with Owen and his odd wife? What else was she going to do? She had no other real options, she had considered going to LA to visit Addison, but that seemed like a nightmare waiting to happen. New York was always an option, she had some school friends there, she hadn't seen them in a long time but she could look them up. And it would be far away from Seattle.

“Cal?” She looked up to see Teddy with a questioning look on her face. “I told Arizona we were going to Joe’s tonight, you still up for it?”

“Yeah, I am. Hey, I think I'm going to go to Owen’s place and get cleaned up, have a little nap. Can I get my bag from your office?”

“Sure but he lives twenty minutes away, if you want to crash at our place you can, we live right across the street and Joe’s is right next door besides I'm sure we're probably a better equipped apartment for a woman than Owen.”

“Doesn't Cristina live with him?”

“Yes but trust me, she doesn't count,” Callie glanced at Arizona who had a big smile on her face as she smiled at her friends comment.

“You don't mind?” Callie looked at the two women in front of her and wondered what it would be like to have friends again, people to hang out with and share stories and problems with. It had been so long since she had had a normal life she almost didn't remember what it was like.

“Cal?” Teddy said for the third time pulling her out of her thoughts again. Callie looked at her apologetically but Teddy just gave her a smile in return. “I said it was fine if you wanted to crash at our place for a little while.”

“Great, can I get my bag then head over?”

“I can walk you over if you want?” Arizona offered causing both other women to stare at her. 

“That would probably be best, Arizona, she can show you where my room is, your more than welcome to take a nap in there, it might be better for you.”

Callie started to argue but then realized she was probably right. “Okay.” Was all she said and looked at the blonde next to her, all smiles and tapped her pocket knowing she had the power to remove that smile from her face for a very long time with what was inside that envelope and the thought made her slightly nauseous, because she had already come to enjoy that beautiful smile. He was right, it was addicting.


	4. Chapter 4

Callie followed the chatty blonde back to her apartment, she was trying to sell Callie on the hospital, telling her all about it's amazing ways. Arizona told her all about the opportunities she would have, the teaching, the colleagues, she was making a hard pitch at the brunette. All Callie could think was: She had no idea what she’s doing.

Callie nodded occasionally and listened intently but she had already made up her mind; she was going to leave the following day and head south to LA. Addison was always talking about her practice, her beautiful home on the beach and all the gorgeous people. It sounded like the perfect place for her to be, not in rainy, depressing Seattle. She would go out for drinks tonight, deliver the envelope and be on her way.

“Callie?” Arizona called out to the brunette, they were standing in front of her apartment, Arizona had opened the door but hadn't moved in yet because the brunette seemed to be in a trance again. She noticed the woman kept getting lost in herself, deep in thought, so deep it often took calling out her name a few times before she would be pulled out.

“Sorry, I was just…”

“It's okay Callie,” Arizona reached up with her hand and placed it on callie’s shoulder, giving her a little squeeze of encouragement. “Come on in,” Arizona said wheeling her suitcase in with Callie behind her carrying her bag.

“Thanks again for the place to crash this afternoon,” Callie told the blonde as she stepped into the room. She looked around, it was so normal. There were pictures and couches, magazines and rugs, all the things that made a home just that. It was cozy and quiet, she thought to herself as she looked over and saw a picture of Tim with his arm around Arizona who was dressed in a graduation gown. It had been months since she had seen Tim, his face was younger and much more carefree, his smile was in full bloom here. Callie reached out with her hand and let it trace across the face of her friend.

“Callie?” Arizona called out pulling her out of her trance and letting her drop her arm back to her side quickly looking up to see the blonde coming out of her bedroom. Luckily Arizona hadn't seen Callie staring at the picture of Tim. 

“Yeah?” Callie looked up guiltily.

“Teddy’s room is back here if you want to come on I'll show you.”

Callie flopped back onto Teddy’s bed, allowing her arm to fall over her face. She was exhausted and couldn't wait to have a nap, and she hoped that she would be able to find a few hours of peace.

“Do you need anything?” Arizona asked poking her head in the open door. Callies looked up at the blonde and wondered what she was doing, allowing herself to be that close to the woman. Why? Why would she do this?

“No, I'm good, I'm just going to take a little nap.”

“Okay, if you need anything at all just let me know, I'll be in the other room.”

“You're staying?” Callie suddenly became nervous that the blonde would be in the apartment with her when she slept. She had thought she would have the place to herself.

“Yeah, I just stopped at the hospital to check on a patient of mine but I'm not actually on today because I was traveling.”

“Thanks, I'll let you know if I need anything.” Callie told her and stood up to change out of her bulky fatigues so she could have a decent nap.

Xxxxxxxx

Arizona busied herself around the apartment, she had laundry to get done and a little bit cleaning. She and Teddy had always been really good about sharing chores around the apartment, but she had been away for a few days so she felt it was her turn to tidy things up. She put on her ear buds and made herself start the cleaning, she always worked much better when she was having a dance party while cleaning.

At first she wasn't sure if she heard a noise or not, the ear buds were making it so she couldn't hear anything, but the second time she was sure. She took one of the buds out and heard it again.

“Come on Torres! Let's go! Make a bet or get out of the game!” Tim called to Callie as she contemplated her cards.

“Hold your horses, I'm thinking.”

“God. Only women think in cards, men just know what to do.”

“Well good for you Robbins, but I need to think….okay I see you and raise you two packs of skittles.”

“Two packs!!! You've lost your mind, betting two packs of skittles. You know how hard those are to get around here?” She had him on the run now, he was trying to decide if she was bluffing or if she actually had something. No one bet two bags of skittles. No way.

“What was that you were saying about only women had to think?”

“Shut up Torres….fine, I'm out,” he said dumping his cards on the table and seeing the mischievous grin of the brunette appear.

“That's right you do…” Then suddenly an explosion rocked their camp.

 

“NO! Don't die!! You promised!!” She heard and went running into Teddy’s room to see Callie thrashing around the bed, very clearly having a bad dream.

 

“Callie?” She called, but not too loud, she knew what happened when she startled the woman last time. But Callie continued to move around the bed, as Arizona crept into the room.

“No! You can't leave me! You can't leave her!”

Arizona sat down on the bed and placed a hand on Callie’s shoulder, “Callie? You need to wake up,” she tried again, giving her arm a little nod, then suddenly Callie sat up straight and and grabbed onto Arizona's shoulders, roughly pulling her towards the brunette with force so their faces were millimeters apart.

Arizona could feel Callie's breath on her, her eyes were open and she was staring at her, breath labored.

“You're alive.” Callie stated looking at the blonde in front of her.

“Yeah?” Arizona wasn't sure why Callie had thought she might not be.

“I can't leave. I have to stay,” Callie said to her. “I promised.”

Arizona wasn't sure what Callie was telling her, she also didn't want to ask too many questions for fear the brunette might think she was nosy. 

“I'm alive,” Arizona said out loud looking at the brunette as she could see her slowly start to come out of her dream.

“You're alive.”

“I'm alive.”

“I'm going to have to stay,” Callie said and pushed off the blonde a little to get out of the bed and walked towards her bag. “How long have I been asleep?” She rubbed her head feeling groggy still. She never should have come back to the apartment with the blonde, it had been a mistake. A stupid mistake.

“About three hours. How do you feel?” Callie stood up and looked at the blonde that was still sitting on the bed. She had changed clothes, obviously something old as it looked like she had been cleaning. She was adorable.

“I feel better, I'd been awake for about thirty hours except for the naps on planes, so it felt good to get a rest in.”

“You know...if you ever felt the need to talk, I'm here. I might not understand everything that happened to you, but I can listen.”

“Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I think I'm going to take a bath if you don't mind. It's been years since I've had an actual bath.”

“Oh! I have just the thing,” Arizona jumped off the bed and sprinted out of the room leaving Callie with a small smile on her face. She wondered how someone could be so different from their sibling.

“Here!” Arizona handed Callie a bag of toiletries. “There are bath bombs, salts, and oils, use anything in there. The lavender one is my favorite and I promise it relaxes you better than anything else could.”

“Thanks again Arizona,” Callie took the toiletries with her and disappeared into the bathroom. Arizona heard the water turn on and followed Callie into the room. “Here let me light these,” Arizona picked up a lighter and started to light the candles she had around the bath. She wanted to make sure the brunette was relaxed and had a chance to enjoy her bath.

“Don't,” Callie grabbed her hand to stop her from lighting the candles. Arizona noticed Callie’s face had gone serious as she stopped her, Arizona dropped the lighter back in the drawer and left the room, not asking why she had dropped her. She could only imagine and she didn't want those thoughts on her head.

Xxxxxxxx

“Hey,” Teddy said walking in the door and finding Arizona on her hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor.

“Hey.”

“How's Callie? She still here?”

“Yeah…” Arizona dropped and looked up at her friend. “I woke her up from a bad dream. Do you know what that's all about?”

Teddy dropped her things by the door and walked into the kitchen, sidestepping the wet spots, grabbed two beers and sat at the kitchen counter.

“She had a rough time over there...we all did, but some people see things others don't. She was on the front a lot, dealing with the immediate casualties. Owen and I were back at base, we were dealing with her fixes….it was hard on all of us but some people...people like Callie we're dealing with things and seeing things we never did,” Teddy popped open the two beers and nodded for Arizona to join her.

“She said she had to stay.”

Teddy nodded, “she should. I think….it will be hard on her and hard on us, but if she leaves she will just run and keep running so she never had to face her past. She needs to see someone, talk all of these feelings through, but I just don't know if she will do it, because it's going to be so hard.”

“So you think she will stay here in Seattle?”

“If she's not stupid,” Teddy laughed and took a gulp of her beer.

“Are you talking about me?” They both heard the husky voice of Callie enter the room, Arizona glanced at the door and just about fell off her chair when the brunette came in view. So far she had only seen her in fatigues, with her hair up and no makeup. But the woman standing before her now was ungodly beautiful. Callie had her hair down, falling over her shoulders, a dusty makeup on her face and skinny jeans paired with a black leather jacket. In short: she was drop dead gorgeous.

“I guess you're ready?” Teddy asked handing her beer over to Callie who took a swig off it. Arizona watched in amazement because the two had lived together for about a year and had never once shared a beer. They seemed so casual with each other, so at ease. Which was surprising to her since she felt like she was so at ease with Teddy, but it was nothing like what these two seemed to share. It was deeper, something seemed to constantly pass between them that didn't need spoken.

“Yeah, I am. Are you still coming?” Callie turned and looked at Arizona, who was sitting in an old pair of sweatpants, a bleach stained tank top and her hair thrown up in a messy bun. In short: she looked horrible.

“Yeah, I'll get cleaned up and meet you there,” she hopped off her stool and headed for her room.


	5. Chapter 5

Callie and Teddy were sitting at a table towards the back of Joe's, where they wouldn't be bothered too much and it was a little quieter so they could speak. So far Callie had been pretty quiet, nursing her drinks, and looking around the bar. 

“So did you decide if you're going to stay or go?”

Callie took her rum and Coke, and finished it off glancing at the waitress asking for another. “I'm going to go, I can't stay here, it's a great offer but I'm not meant to be here.”

“Arizona is under the impression you're going to stay, why do you think that is?” Teddy pressed her friend, she wanted Callie to stay in the city, she had missed her friend and was looking forward to spending time with her again. 

“No clue,” Callie said quickly and looked at the waitress again, where was that drink?

“Really? Does it have anything to do with that dream you were having?” Callie's eyes shot up at her friend then glanced around the bar looking for any sort of distraction. It was loud in the bar, people were dancing, laughing and having a great time. She didn't deserve to be here. She wasn't good enough for this place.

“Hey,” they heard and she turned to see the blonde standing behind them. Callie did a double take then looked away, the blonde looked beautiful as always, but she wasn't going to even get into that mess.

“I'm going to track down my drink,” Callie told them and bolted from the table.

Arizona sat down in a huff and looked at her friend, “I'm beginning to think she doesn't like me.”

“I wouldn't take it too personal.”

“Oh yeah? Look at that,” Arizona told her friend and nodded toward the bar. Callie was standing very close to a blonde woman, laughing with the biggest smile she had seen so far. She leaned in and whispered something in the blonde's ear before pulling back and laughing again. 

“Hmm, yeah really don't think about it too much.”

“Is she gay?”

“Yeah, I guess. I don't really know how she defines herself but I know she dates women. She had a girlfriend back home for awhile when we were deployed but I think they broke up.”

“I look good, right?” Arizona asked looking at the bar. Teddy let out a big sigh and grabbed her friend's arm to get her attention. 

“Seriously, you need to stay away from Callie. She needs to get her life together and the last thing she needs is anyone getting in her head. She's my friend and I love her like a sister, i’d do anything for her, like keeping her sane.”

“Who said I want anything more than just to casually see her.”

“She doesn't need that, she just got back, let her try to get her life back together. Besides she just told me she was going to leave, that she wasn't going to take Owen’s offer.”

“What? She said she was going to stay, that she needed to stay.”

Teddy shrugged her shoulders and looked at the bar, she and the other woman were very close now, there was no doubt Callie was trying very hard to pick that woman up. 

“It might be best if she left. I have to go to the bathroom,” teddy got up from her stool just as Cristina sat down. Arizona glanced at the bar and saw Owen standing next to Callie, from what she could tell it was already a heated discussion. He certainly hadn't been in the bar long enough for that to happen.

Xxxxxxx

“I've decided to go to LA and stay with Addison for now,” Callie told Owen as he approached her at the bar. She had seen him come in the bar and knew it would be the first thing he asked her about. She didn't even give him a chance to say anything before she told him.

“I don't think that's a good idea, and I don't think you do either. You need a support system right now.”

“Addison can be my support system.”

“You know that's not what I'm talking about, she is a good friend but she isn't what you need right now.”

“How do you know what I need!?” Callie yelled at him then looked around and saw the other members at the bar were looking at them. “How do you know?” She asked again quietly.

“Because I've been where you are right now, Callie. I was where you were not too long ago, and things were bad, really bad, but I've gotten help since then.”

Callie rolled her eyes, grabbed her drink and drained it while he watched her.

“Did you know that I almost killed Cristina?” Callie's eyes shot towards him and saw in his eyes he was being serious. “I was having a dream and almost choked her, Teddy was sleeping on the couch that night and saved her, or I would have killed her, Callie. I know it was hard, I know that better than anyone. You need help.”

“You don't know anything,” Callie motioned for another drink.

“I know you're feeling alone, and depressed and like no one cares about you. But that isn't true. Teddy and I both care and we will help you any way we can. Don't go to LA. Stay here, put down some roots for once and make a home of Seattle. You know deep down this is what you should do, but you are running. Now is the time to stop running,” he grabbed Callie by her shoulders so she was forced to look him in the eyes. “Stop running and let us help you. I'll get you in with my doctor, and there is a really good group I go to occasionally for post war vets. There are ways for you to get help. Let us help you.”

Callie knew her friend was looking out for her best interest. She knew he just wanted what was best for her, but she still was so scared, deep down all she could feel was fear.

“What if the things you all learn about me along the way make you hate me? The things I've done will make you hate me, as much as I already hate myself,” she whispered to Owen and he felt his stomach fall as she said the words.

“That's never going to happen Callie. I owe you my life, now let me help you get yours back.”

Callie looked at Owen and knew that he just wanted to help her, she could see the sincerity in his eyes, she knew what he was telling her were words that he believed, she just wondered if he would still think those things later on.

“Do you think your doctor would be willing to see me soon?”

Owen gave her a smile and wrapped his arms around her. “I'll call her first thing in the morning,” Callie pulled back and looked at her friend. 

“The thing is Owen, I need your word that you won't turn your back on me. During this time, I need to know that when you hear what I have to say and when I'm ready to talk about it, I have to know that you won't turn your back on me.”

“Callie I promise that won't ever happen.” Callie could see he meant it, she only hoped that he would always mean it. Because it was going to be a long hard road to climb and she definitely needed some friends.


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone was on lockdown at the hospital. Not in the sense of something bad happening, but in the sense that no one was talking about Callie. Arizona had gone out of her way to try and gather information on where she had gone, but no one was talking. 

It had been a week since she had seen the brunette at the bar and no one seemed to know where she was. Or they weren't talking. She was banking on the latter because when she would bring up Callie’s name Teddy would walk away from her or change the subject.

“Hey Cristina!” Arizona approached the resident in her normal chipper manner causing the younger woman to cringe.

“I'm not on your service today.”

“No, I know, I was just curious how you've been.”

Cristina stared at the woman, unsure of what was happening. Why was she asking.

“Finnnne,” she drew out and then turned to walk away.

“Anything new?” Arizona saddled up next to the resident as she walked away.

“Umm, I bought some new shoes,” Cristina looked down at her new sneakers that she as hoping to make the long hours a little better.

“Hmm, yeah very nice, so about your new roommate, how's that working out?”

Cristina made a sour face as she realized what was going on now. Owen had warned her to not talk to anyone about Callie as she was trying to work through a few things and get settled before she began work at the hospital. He didn't want people spreading rumors about the woman before she had even begun working at the hospital.

“I know what you're doing and it isn't going to work.”

“Oh come on! Everyone is being so hush hush about her, just tell me if she is staying with you.”

“Can't do it. I've been told not to discuss her.”

“Why?”

“Not for me to say. See ya,” Cristina took off down the hall trying to get away from the pushy blonde.

“Hey,” Arizona heard and looked up to see Teddy.

“Hey.”

What's wrong?”

“Why won't you tell me about Callie? I just want to know if she is okay? And if she is going to work at the hospital. And no one will tell me including my best friend and roommate.”

“Why don't you so her yourself?” Teddy said and nodded to the end of the hall where Callie was standing at a nurses station, sleeves on her white coat pushed up, hair down, and just overall looking amazing

“Damn.”

“Stay away from her,” Teddy trailed off as she walked away from the blonde.

Arizona stood and stared at the brunette for a few minutes, watching her. There was no doubt she had a thing for the woman, she was beautiful and mysterious in so many ways she couldn't help that she was attracted to her. Callie looked up and saw Arizona staring at her and gave her a little smile then walked away.

Arizona booked it down the hall in time to catch the brunette as she was entering the elevator.

“You know it's the most amazing thing,” Arizona started as she slipped into the elevator while Callie punched the close door button as fast as she could. “I have been asking for an entire week what had happened to you and you know what? No one knew. Or they weren't saying anyway. Don't you find that odd? And now….here you are in a lab coat and I'm going to have to assume you work here now.”

Callie didn't say anything to the blonde but instead rolled her eyes while she spoke.

“Come on. I think you are being totally unfair. I was nice to you, talked to you, gave you a ride and I thought we had shared a moment when I woke you from that bad dream. And now, I feel like you are avoiding me. Are you avoiding me?”

Callie let out a large breath of air, one she didn't know she had been keeping in until she started to talk. “Arizona, I am not avoiding you and I don't know why no one would tell you where I was.” The elevator came to a stop, Callie made a move for the door but Arizona hit the close door button and held it.

“What is your problem with me? I've been nothing but nice to you and you...you've been secretive and elusive and I just don't get it. So why? What's up?”

“Arizona, I am not trying to be anything with you at all. I'm sorry if I've come off as standoffish, that was never my intent, I just….I have a hard time letting go with people I don't know. It takes me a long time before I can trust someone.”

Arizona considered this information for a moment then narrowed her eyes. “Fine. I'll accept that but only if you go for a drink with me after work. I want to get to know you, I want to be friends with you and if it takes a long time for you to warm up to me, then so be it.”

“Thanks for the offer but I actually already have plans.”

“What? Like a date?”

“Yeah, like a date. Ask me another night and I'll meet with you for sure. Now I'm late for my appointment so you have to let me go please,” Callie reached over and grasped Arizona's hand in her own, as she pulled it down from the open door button. As she held Arizona's hand in hers she allowed herself to make eye contact with the blonde for a brief moment and she could almost swear she actually saw the blonde suck in her breath at the contact of touching each other.

Xxxxxxx

“She has a date,” Arizona flopped down in the seat next to her friend at lunch, lasagna on her plate as well as the double chocolate cake for dessert. She was going to need that after her earlier rejection. Her mother had always told her to not eat her feelings. Her mother had also told her that if her nose itched it meant someone was thinking about you. What did she know.

“And to whom are we speaking of?” Teddy asked digging into her yogurt.

“Callie.”

“I told you to stay away from her. Why do you know she has a date?”

“Because I asked her to meet me for drinks after work so we could become better friends,” she said with extra emphasis on the word only causing Teddy to roll her eyes.

“I asked you to stay away from her.”

“And I am! I just want to be friends with her.”

“No you don't.”

“Yes I do!”

“No you don't. You just want to sleep with her because she is beautiful and I am asking you to stay away from her because she is volatile right now and she doesn't need that.”

“I resent that! I Have plenty of friends I haven't slept with.”

“Name one.”

“Ha! Easy! You.”

“Nice try, but I'm straight so I don't count, I wouldn't sleep with you no matter what little charming spells you tried to cast on me. Name one lesbian you are friends with that you haven't slept with.”

“1. I could have you if I wanted,” teddy just scoffed at that comment. “And 2. I am friends with Maureen.”

“You and Maureen are not friends, she is the bank teller at the drive in bank you use. And besides she isn't even gay.”

“We are friends, we've had drinks together and she is gay.”

“Okay fine. What's her last name?”

“Maureen…..Jackson?”

“Nope. Wrong, and she isn't gay because her fiancé is the trainer at the gym I go to.”

“Really?? Maureen isn't gay? Wow. Interesting…. anyway it doesn't matter, I am just planning on being friends with Callie, I don't want to cause her any pain I promise.”

“Mm hmm. Leave her alone Arizona.”

Xxxxxxx

Callie looked up at the building and let out a sigh. She had been sweating bullets over this all day. She didn't want to be here, but she had agreed to this and she was going to give it a shot. She didn't want to, but she had promised Owen she would. 

She knocked softly on the door causing it to open, she peered inside and saw a nice room, decorated with pretty couches and throw pillows. There were a few pictures on the wall and some university degrees framed as well. This woman had been hard to get an appointment with and she was told how nice she was. Everyone had said she was nice. Nice only meant one thing.

“You must be Callie,” a woman came into view and Callie gave her a half hearted smile.

“I am. And you must be Dr. Taylor, thanks for seeing me, everyone has said how wonderful you are to work with.”

“Are you ready to start our first session?”

“As I'll ever be,” Callie said and followed the woman into her office, sighing loudly as she closed the door behind them. This was going to be the very first of a long and painful recovery, but she knew she had to do this. She had to do it for Tim, she had promised him she would take care of Arizona and she wasn't going to let him down.


	7. Chapter 7

Callie started to see her therapist twice a week to work on immediate goals. Goals that would help her sleep and try to make it through the day without having any issues. She found that she was irritable and quick to yell at her residents, but she was trying to get the help she needed. Owen saw early on that she was struggling with work and tried to help her with her hours. 

He also noticed that she was going to Joe’s a lot during the week, which didn't seem to be a great idea for someone in her condition. He had tried to talk to her about it but she wasn't listening to him. He found most nights he would hear her screaming while she was sleeping and knew it wasn't good for her but there wasn't much he could do for her. She was having a hard time coping it seemed, but it was something she was going to have to deal with and work her way through. 

“So how are things?” Teddy asked a very grumpy Callie one afternoon. She could tell by the way the brunette was sitting she was crabby but she and Owen had agreed to take turns checking on her and it was her day. 

“Still good,” Callie said since this was the second time that day Teddy had asked her that exact question with those exact words. She didn't want to bite Teddy’s head off, but she also didn't want to be treated like a child, which is exactly what she and Owen had been doing since she arrived. 

“Have you had any good patients today?”

“How could I possibly have any good patients when all Owen let's me do is place bandaids on people. He won't let me perform surgery or work on anyone with anything more than a scratch. I'm bored.”

“I don't think he means anything by it, I think he just wants to let you slowly get back in the groove here before he throws surgeries your way.”

“Yeah well I'm going to start breaking in on other doctors and stealing their surgeries if he doesn't let me cut soon.”

“I thInk he is waiting for Dr Taylor to give him the okay.”

“Yeah yeah I've heard it from both of them, but that doesn't make it any easier.”

“What's not easy?” They heard and both turned to see Arizona holding a tray before setting it between them and sitting down. 

“How are you today? Have you had any good surgeries?” Callie asked urgently.

“I'm good and no I've actually had a really quiet day today trying to catch up on paper work. Which reminds me because of that I should be able to get out of here early tonight and wanted to know if you all wanted to go to Joe’s tonight?”

“I'm going to have to say no, I've already got plans tonight,” Callie told her and turned away before the blonde could ask questions.

“That's what you told me last time, if I didn't know better I'd say you were either avoiding me, or you had a girlfriend,” Arizona stared at the brunette willing her to look back at her but her stare down was broken by Teddy.

“I'll meet you, I should be able to get out of here on time, but I have to go now. See you guys later,” teddy grabbed her tray and left the room leaving the two most awkward women ever sitting beside each other.

“So come on, go out with us tonight for some drinks, you promised last time that you would go the next time and it's finally the next time.”

“I really can't Arizona, I have plans already and I can't break them.”

Arizona scowled for a moment then looked at Callie, here goes nothing, she thought. “I've not told you about my brother...he was my very best friend in the whole world, and I loved him with every piece of my soul. It's weird because I often thought what would I do without him and I couldn't even imagine it at the time because it was so far fetched my mind couldn't actually grasp the concept.” Callie felt her heart starting to speed up as Arizona spoke of her brother and she wondered if Arizona could see how uncomfortable she was. “I said goodbye to him two years ago for the last time when he went to Iraq, for his second tour. I never understood his need for that life but it was his, not mine. Then six months ago we got a call, there had been a bombing and his unit had taken a hit, he was on the line and they couldn't get a helicopter into his unit, there was a doctor on sight but they were unable to keep him alive because his injuries were so bad.”

Arizona stopped for a moment and looked at Callie, the brunette was sitting in stunned silence and Arizona could see that her eyes were wet. She briefly wondered if she had gone too far with her story. Maybe it was too much for her.

“Hey Torres, you look sad today,” Tim said.

“Leave her alone her girlfriend broke up with her,” one of the other guys told Tim.

“Oh that's perfect!” Tim ran over to her side.

“And how is my girlfriend breaking up with me perfect.”

“Because now you can date my sister. She's awesome, and I know you will love her. She smart and funny and she's a kid Doctor, so you already have that in common.”

“I'm a surgeon, not a kiddie babysitter.”

“No, no, she's a kid surgeon.”

“You mean a pediatric surgeon.”

“Yeah! She went to Johns Hopkins, which she brags about all the time like it's the best school, and I'd never tell her this but she's the smartest person I ever met. So now that you and your girl have broken up you can date my sister.”

“And just how will this dating happen?”

“When we get back I swear she is going to want to go for drinks and we can all go together. What do you say?”

“I say I can't believe you're trying to set your sister up on a date.”

“If he was here i'd take him out for a drink, and if he was here he'd insist on taking you with us. Because we take care of our own, and that's what I'm looking for in you. I know what you sacrificed over there, I see the pain in your eyes, I feel the sorrow seeping out of your pores, but I'm going to keep on asking and hounding you because that's what Tim would do.” At the sound of his name rolling off Arizona's mouth so easily, Callie closed her eyes for a moment and silently cursed herself. “So tonight, I will be at Joe’s after six and if you would like to join us, I would love the chance to buy you a drink.”

Arizona stood up, grabbed her tray and walked out of the room leaving Callie behind to think about what Arizona had told her. She knew it was a bad idea, but she was going to have to show up tonight after her appointment with Dr. Taylor, even though deep down she knew just how bad of an idea it was.


	8. Chapter 8

Arizona finished up early just like she said she would and headed across the street to Joe’s. She knew Teddy was waiting on her because she had received a text message earlier in the day from her saying she was leaving early and would be there.

But now Arizona had been at the bar for close to two hours and while she was having fun with her friends, she had yet to see the one person she desperate wanted to meet that night.

“Do you know if she has a girlfriend?” Arizona asked Teddy after they had been sitting in silence for a few minutes. She had told herself she wasn't going to question her, but apparently she couldn't keep a promise to herself like that. She just had to know.

“Not that I'm aware of.”

“So no on the girlfriend.”

“She hasn't said she has one. I don't think she's too concerned on finding one right now.”

“Then where does she keep going for these dates?”

“She never said they were dates,” Teddy told her and looked up to see the brunette at the bar buying a drink and chatting with another woman. Oh boy. This was going to be a problem.

“Then what are they? I know you know.”

“It's not my business to be spreading around and if Callie wanted you to know she'd tell you. Just be patient and I'm sure she will let you know in time.” Teddy glanced nervously at the bar and saw Callie lean in and whisper something in the other woman's ear and then she threw her head back and laughed. Which caused Arizona to glance up at the loud cackle of the other woman.

Teddy glanced at Arizona and saw that her mouth was visibly open at this point and she could only guess what was going through her head.

“Well that's just….that's just rude. I invited her to have a drink with us and she is off at the bar with that other woman. Do you know her?” Arizona questioned her friend but started in again before Teddy was able to answer. “Is this the other woman she has been dating? You said there wasn't another woman, but maybe she is.”

“She's not dating anyone right now Arizona, I think she's just talking to her, she hasn't seemed to notice us. She'll be over soon.”

Callie turned and saw the duo right then and waved before turning back to the other woman, saying her goodbyes and leaving.

“Hey,” Callie placed her drink on the table and looked at the two women.

“How was your other plans?” Arizona asked and Callie turned dark for a moment before putting a fake smile on her face.

“It was good, thanks for asking. Have you been here for awhile?”

“A few hours, we both got off early. I was going to invite you for a hike tomorrow, you up for it?” Teddy decided that changing the subject was probably best.

“You know, that would be really good. My head needs to be cleared and that would be a great way.”

“Arizona, you're more than welcome to join us,” Teddy turned to her friend and saw that she was starting to soften at the thought of getting outside for an afternoon. They always seemed to be closed up indoors and when they were able to get out for some time outside it always seemed to help lift their spirits.

“I called you earlier, did you get my message?” Callie asked Teddy and got a nod in return.

“Yeah, I can go to your appointment on Monday, it's no problem.”

Arizona scowled at them both, Teddy looked away but Callie looked her in the eye. She knew it wasn't fair to keep the woman out of the dark.

“I've been seeing a trauma counselor, it's what all my plans have been for. Dr Taylor asked if I could bring a friend with me that knew me in both aspects, one in my military life and one in my civilian life. I asked Teddy if she could come with me.”

“You've been seeing a counselor?”

“Yeah. I just….have a lot of issues that I need someone to talk to about so I've been going there for a few weeks. I've also been going to a group meeting at least once a week. It's good to be in that setting and be able to talk to people that are like me, that have experienced the things I have. They understand what I want to say and want to talk about.”

“That's amazing, I'm so proud of you,” Arizona told the brunette, but at the word proud Callie's head flipped back toward the bar. She hadn't been expecting that.

 

“If you'll excuse me,” she told them and took off for the bar. A few more people from the hospital came and joined Arizona and Teddy, but they continues to Keenan eye on the brunette. They watched as she bought shots and drinks for the women she was talking to, and seemed to make no effort to come back to their table and join them. And it didn't take long before her and the woman from earlier started to get very cozy with each other.

“They seem to be having a good time,” Arizona told teddy and stood up. “I'm going home. Watching Callie get drunk and hit on another woman is not what I'd like to do with the remainder of my night.”

“I know, I think she is just blowing off some steam. Owen said she's been drinking a lot, she's been staying out late and going to work the next day hung over. I haven't noticed anything until now, he seems to think it's a problem.”

Arizona stared at her friend. “I'm telling you this because she needs is now more than ever. You were the one that said you wanted to help her and be her friend. If that's true, then do it. Be her friend. Help her. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“So I'll see you in the morning?”

“Yeah but you bring coffee.”

“Deal.”

Xxxxxxxx

Arizona pulled into the parking lot and saw Teddy already there waiting for her, but there was no sign of Callie.

“Coffee?” Arizona asked and immediately was handed a large cup from inside her friend's car. “Ahhhh, thanks!”

“No problem. I also brought some water water for later.”

“You're a saint,” they both turned their heads as they heard another car crunching across the gravel lot. Callie pulled into the lot and parked next to Teddy. She slowly pulled herself from the car and gingerly walked toward her friend.

“I thought you might need this,” Teddy handed Callie a large cup of coffee. She had sunglasses on and seemed to not be moving fast, which was going to make for an interesting hike.

“Thanks,” a raspy voice told her and immediately started to down the coffee.

“Good night?” Teddy asked in amusement.

“Long.” One word answers seemed to be all they were going to get from her.

“Well the hike is just over five miles, we better get going,” Teddy told them both after they had finished their coffee. Callie still hadn't said anything more than one word answers and her sunglasses were still on her face. It was obvious the woman was nursing a serious hangover.

They all started off at a good pace, and once their muscles were finally warmed up, they started to move a little faster, even Callie seemed to be doing much better now that the coffee had settled and they were moving along the path.

“Tylenol kick in?” Teddy asked and Callie chuckled a little.

“It would appear so.”

“So you can say more than one monosyllabic answer today! Good for you!”

“I'll admit I wasn't feeling my best this morning.”

“That's an understatement. How late did you'd stay out last night?”

“Uh, I'm not really sure actually. There was a party after Joe’s closed and I went to that for awhile. It was a good night.”

Teddy eyed her friend suspiciously but didn't say anything. 

“Did you meet anyone interesting?” Arizona asked.

“Not really.”

“Well I'm glad you had a good time. I also wanted you to know that if you ever need a friend to go with you to a meeting, I'd be happy to go with you,” Callie didn't make eye contact with the blonde but rather shuffled the gravel at her feet. Teddy clear bed her throat and Callie knew she was going to get a lecture.

“I'm not going to harp on you too much but Owen has voiced concern that you've been drinking a lot and staying out late,” Callie started to argue but Teddy stopped her altogether and held up her hand. “Jut hear me out, okay? I know you want to get back in the OR but that isn't going to happen if you keep on this pace. You have to lay off the drinking, I think it's great you are going to counseling and group therapy, but you need to get it together. Owen is your friend, but he's also your boss. If he'd seen you looking like that this morning he wouldn't have been happy.”

“I don't have to work today.”

“It doesn't matter!” Teddy’s voice rose causing Arizona to perk up. She'd never heard the woman yell before. “Get your shit together Callie. You've been back here for almost a month and you need to stop the drinking, settle down and see your therapist. It's the only way he's going to let you back in surgeries. You're going to be applying ointment and handing out aspirin for the next ten years of you don't get it together.”

Callie nodded, she knew her friend was right. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I'll do better. I promise.”

“Good, now let's finish this walk up and get some lunch. I'm starving.”

“Deal, but you're buying,” Callie took off at a sprint with her friend chasing her.

“No way Torres!” Arizona took off after them laughing at her friends as Teddy tried to catch Callie.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Teddy was fast asleep when she heard her phone ringing. She glanced at the clock, it was three in the morning. She knew it wasn't the hospital because her pager would have been going crazy.

“Hello?”

“Is this Teddy?” A female voice asked.

“It is.”

“Do you know Callie?” Teddy sat up in bed on alert.

“Yes.”

“She is passed out at the bar and we are closing, her phone was next to her. You were the last contact in her phone. Would you want to come get her or should we call the police?”

“No! Don't call the police! I'll be there right away.” Teddy hopped out of bed with a huge sigh and threw on her clothes so she could go and pick up her friend. Apparently she hadn't taken Teddy seriously about getting her act together.


	9. Chapter 9

Teddy had a grip on Callie as she pushed the door open to Owen’s apartment. She had called him for help but he and Cristina were both working, so she had managed to get the brunette back to his place. She had briefly thought of returning to her own place but knew Arizona would be home and didn't want to wake her or have to deal with all the questions.

“Okay Cal, we need to get you in bed.”

“Mmmkay,” Callie mumbled, she was finally starting to wake up, which was a good thing, Teddy wanted to get some water and aspirin on her so she wouldn't feel too horrible in the morning.

“Hey Callie, I want you to drink this,” Teddy told her and handed her a glass of water. Callie sat on the end of her bed and stared into the glass then looked up at Teddy with her big brown eyes, then the tears started to pour out of them.

“She's going to hate me,” she sobbed out and laid down on the bed, Teddy quickly grabbed the glass from her before it spilled.

“Who?”

“She won't understand, he was her best friend and she's going to hate me when she finds out,” the sobs continued as Teddy crawled into the bed with her and rubbed Callie’s back as she cried.

“No one is going to hate you, honey.”

“Arizona will, she is going to hate me and she is so pretty and nice and wonderful. He was right about her, everything he said was right.”

“Who?”

“Tim….” She cried out and felt her own mouth fall open.

“Wait, you knew Tim? Did you meet him in Iraq?”

“He wanted to fix us up when we came home but he died and he was so right about her. She's perfect but she is going to hate me when she finds out. She's never going to love me.”

Teddy was confused now, she had no idea that Callie and Tim had known each other in Iraq. She assumed that happened after she had left to come back him. 

“Tim wanted to set you up with Arizona?” Callie nodded and just buried herself in her blankets as she continued to cry.

“He was right you know? You guys would be pretty amazing together,” Teddy told her but didn't get a response. She smiled and knew Callie had fallen asleep, without taking aspirin or drinking water. She was going to have a rough morning. 

Teddy covered Callie up again, then turned to leave and saw Callie’s leather jacket on the floor and bent to pick it up. When she grabbed it to hang it up an envelope fell out of it, it was addressed to Arizona Robbins, MD from Tim Robbins, best big brother.

Teddy looked at Callie then back to the envelope and suddenly she figured it out. 

Xxxxxxxx

Callie woke up with drums banging in her head. The sort of banging you might hear at a loud rave. Why had she done that last night? She felt around and knew she was in her own bed, though she didn't remember how she had gotten there. Never a good thing. She sat up and smacked her lips, sure that there was death in her mouth. She needed water and to brush her teeth.

Slowly she pulled herself from the bed and walked to her bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror had been a very bad idea, hair was going every which way, yesterday's makeup was still on, for the most part, her mascara had run. She looked awful.

After a quick refresher in the bathroom Callie made her way to the kitchen and as soon as she opened her door she smelled coffee. Oh thank god.

“Well I wondered when I'd see you,” Callie heard and looked to see Teddy sitting on her couch watching television. 

“Why are you here?”

“Ah, yes, why am I here. Well because I was asleep last night and got a phone call from the bar to come pick you up, literally, since you had passed out and they called me before they were going to call the cops.” Callie winced at this admission from Teddy. This wasn't going to go well.

“Thanks,” Callie told her sheepishly and walked to the kitchen, a mug was set out on the counter for her and as she looked she saw there was an envelope under it, addressed to Arizona. “How'd you get this?”

“It fell out of your coat last night.”

Callie nodded and poured herself a cup of coffee before reaching into the cabinet and grabbing some pain relievers. This was going to be a long day.

“So when are you going to give it to her?”

Callie walked back into the living room and say on the opposite end of the couch from Teddy and looked at her.

“I don't know how.”

“You're going to have to bite the bullet and just do it.”

“I know,” Callie ran her hand through her hair and sighed. “I never should have come here, I should have gone to LA like I planned.”

“Running from her isn't going to make things easier. You're going to have to give it to her and the sooner the better.”

“I don't think she will understand when I do though. She's going to hate me and blame me.”

“I don't think so, she's a very loving person. And from what you told me last night Tim gave you his blessing to date her. It seemed like he wanted you to meet her.”

They both sat in silence for a little bit before Callie finally spoke up. “Do you think she'd go out with me?”

“I know she would. You've been driving her crazy with the talking to other women and ignoring her.”

“Do you think she could find it in herself to forgive me?”

“I don't think there's anything to forgive, you didn't do anything wrong. And she will see it that way too. And the sooner you see it...the quicker you will heal, and stop all this stupid nonsense.”

“But...I was his doctor, and I let him die. It was my job to keep him alive and I failed. I failed him and I failed her.”

“No, you didn't, you did all that you could. I know you. I've seen you in action and I know how you work. You have to forgive yourself Callie. You have to. You'll never be able to live the rest of your life if you don't learn to forgive yourself for this. I don't know what happened and I don't know what Tim’s injuries were but if you couldn't save him they must have been pretty bad.”

Callie nodded and she knew her friend was right. 

“I think you need to think about Tim and what he wanted. Did he want you going out and getting so drunk you couldn't get home? What would he say about that?”

“He would kick my ass,” Callie laughed and Teddy joined in.

“Of course he would have. And I'm going to as well if I have to pick you up again. Were you with him when he died?” Callie nodded her head. “And what did he tell you?”

“He told me to find her, to give her the letter and to take care of her. For him. Since he couldn't do it anymore.”

“And have you been doing that?” Callie shook her head.

“So how about this? You get a shower, I'll call Arizona, see if she wants to meet us for some super greasy food and I'll get called away on an emergency, and you guys can spend a little time together. Finally?”

“I say you're the best friend a girl could have,” Callie leaned over and hugged Teddy, then got up and walked towards her room before turning back around. “Thanks for everything, Teddy.”

“No problem.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Thanks for calling me,” Arizona sat down at the booth across from Teddy and next to Callie. It was a quick decision and one she made on the fly. She decided she wanted to sit next to Callie and so she just did.

“Sure, glad you were up and could meet us,” teddy said and gave a small wink to Callie as she noticed the blonde settle in next to her friend. 

“Oh I've been up for quite awhile, I got called in early this morning to work and haven't been back home yet. How about you all? What are you doing out early on Sunday morning?” Arizona glanced at Callie and saw that she looked tired, maybe even a little under the weather. She stared long enough that Callie glanced at her, feeling a little self conscience at the staring, Callie gave her a little smile then looked back at her menu trying to decide what her stomach could handle.

“We were up and decided the same thing and hoped you might want to join us. I'm glad you could,” Teddy told the blonde and glanced at her watch. She had called her favorite nurse and had asked to be paged I to work in exactly three minutes.

“That's the third time you've looked at your watch, do you have somewhere else to be?” Arizona laughed at her friend.

“No, I had called the hospital earlier about a patient and we had some tests run and I was waiting on the results.” Not at all a lie, she had done exactly this.

“So what's good here,” Callie finally asked, speaking for the first time since Arizona had sat down.

“Everything, but I'm partial to their pancakes,” Arizona told her and drained her coffee cup. Callie opened her eyes wide at the gesture and was granted a rather sheepish look from the blonde. “I've been up since four.”

“Okay well pancakes it is,” Callie said just as Teddy’s pager went off.

“Oh! It looks like I'm going to have to cut this short, sorry guys. Hey Arizona can you give Callie a ride home?”

“Sure no problem,” Arizona told her with a big smile as they watched their friend disappear. “That was totally planned wasn't it.”

“Absolutely,” Callie and Arizona both started to laugh at their friend that thought she was being so smooth. “I'll just move over to the other side,” Callie got up to move but Arizona grabbed her knee to stop her.

“No. Stay, we can talk without having to yell,” it wasn't particularly loud in the diner but Arizona wanted Callie close for some reason and now that she finally had her all to herself she wasn't going to give up something this small so easy.

“Sure,” Callie told her and looked at the blonde. There was no mistaking, she was beautiful. She didn't know why she had been denying it for so long.

“Why don't you tell me more about you. All I know is you were in the military and you are double board certified, which is impressive, I might add.”

“Oh, there's nothing much to tell, it's all pretty boring,” Callie looked down at her coffee, not wanting to talk about herself. “What about you.”

“Nope,” Arizona shook her head, “I asked about you.” Callie sighed and looked away, she seldom talked about her life and today, sitting with Arizona was not the day she wanted to do it.

“I went out and got really drunk last night,” Callie started and felt Arizona move a little, “I mean really drunk, so drunk that I passed out at the bar and they had to call Teddy to come get me or they were going to call the cops….” She stopped and looked at Arizona, she was sitting with her mouth open in shock as Callie talked. “I'm dealing with a lot of demons at the moment, and I find myself in this really horrible spot in my life. Because I like you, more than I should and more than I should allow myself to, because I am an actual mess. My life is a mess. And I want to get to know you, I want to open up, and tell you all about myself but I'm scared the more I tell you….the more I'm going to drive you away.”

“Callie….”

“No, I really want to ask you out, on a real date. I want to pick you up, bring you flowers and take you out for a nice romantic dinner, maybe a little dancing and I want to kiss you when I drop you off back home,” Arizona caught herself smile as Callie told her all about their fantasy date. “But Arizona, the dark parts of my life, are just that. They are dark. And heavy and I'm afraid that once you hear these things, once you know these things, you're never going to want to see me again.”

“That's not possible,” Arizona was shaking her head emphatically. “I'm telling you now, that no matter what you tell me you won't send me running. I promise.”

“You don't know that. Don't make me promises you can't keep.”

“Hey,” Arizona reached out and grabbed Callie's hand in her own and didn't say anything until the brunette looked at her. Once she finally had eye contact with the woman she smiled at her, “I know this is hard and I think that if we decide to start dating let's do that. There's no reason for us to air all our dirty laundry today, over breakfast, let's just wait and take things slow. Okay? I know I don't want to tell you all about me just yet, because I think it's weird. Let's go slow and get to know each other, learn about each other after awhile. Okay?”

Callie nodded at her and then caught herself and started to say something, “nope! No admissions of any sort until at least the fifth date,” Arizona said with a chipper smile causing Callie to smile.

“The fifth date huh? Getting a little ahead of yourself aren't you there Robbins?” 

“Well, I have faith in our dating ability, besides, I like you. A lot. And I've been waiting for you to notice me all this time.”

“Oh believe me, I've noticed you,” Callie laughed at the preposterous notion that she hadn't been paying attention to the blonde all this time.

“Yeah? Then what took you so long?” Arizona asked quietly causing Callie to look away for a moment then back at her.

“I needed to gather the courage to do it. You're a little scary to me, you're everything that I'm not and that threw me because I've never seen myself falling for someone like you,” the grin on Arizona's face grew exponentially at the admission.

“So you admit you've fallen for me?” Callie barked out a laugh, and the smile that adorned her face was one Arizona hadn't had the privilege of seeing before. Callie was always so serious, but right now she was bright and happy, smiling from ear to ear. It was breathtaking. 

“I admit to nothing!”

“Awwww, just go ahead and admit it, it'll make it easier on you in the long run. You like me.”

Callie stopped, dropped her smile and stared down the blonde. Her hand went to the blonde's face and she slowly pulled Arizona closer to her and let her lips brush softly against the blonde’s. It was slow and easy, nothing at all rushed about the moment and as she pulled back she could see the blonde staring at her, with a million questions in her eyes.

“Fine. I admit I like you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Callie gave her a soft smile and the blonde leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips again.

“I like you too,” Arizona told Callie and sat back, looking at the brunette, glad they had finally taken care of that. “Now tell me all about this date.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Why are you in here?” Teddy asked Callie as she entered the attendings lounge on the far side of the hospital. The one that she used when she was trying to hide, the one she used when she didn't want to be bothered and needed to get away from everyone else in the hospital. She knew exactly why the woman was here.

“Trying to get some work done,” Callie was scribbling on charts and chose not to look up at her friend and continued with her work.

“You know, when I slept with Dr. Robertson a few years ago,” Teddy started causing Callie to look up at her friend with her admission, “I hid in here for a little over a month, no one could find me unless they paged me.”

Callie stared back at her friend then went back to her work, deciding she wouldn't comment.

“I'm telling you this because I know what you're doing,” teddy sat down across from her friend, but Callie avoiding looking up and making eye contact. “I know you are avoiding Arizona and I know this because she told me you asked her out on a date and I know you are freaking out internally and you've been hiding in this room for the past four days. I also know that Arizona is a little confused and slightly sad walking around looking out for you but she hasn't seen you,” Callie finally looked up at the mention of the blonde but she looked back down, feeling horrible now that the blonde was confused.

“I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking she'd even notice.”

“Why wouldn't she notice?” Teddy asked and got a shrug of shoulders from her friend. “You didn't think she'd notice that you weren't around?” Callie shook her head. “Why?”

“I just didn't think she'd notice.”

“You didn't think she'd notice? Or didn't think she cared?” Teddy asked causing her friend to glance back up. “I hope this is something you're working on at your sessions, you need to address this self worth issue you have. This isn't you, this isn't the person I became friends with years ago. What happened?” Callie stood up from her chair and walked across the room to look out the window. Teddy waited patiently for response but one didn't come. “Callie we have been friend for a long time, but this isn't you. Hiding out, being scared of people, afraid to stand up for yourself. Answer me this. Did you give her the letter?” Callie didn't respond to the question which gave Teddy the answer she was looking for.

_“Torres!! Come on!” Tim yelled at her as she threw the last of her toiletries in her tent. “We are playing some ball and we need you,” she smiled back at her friend and gave him a wave._

_“Coming!” She yelled as she ran over to the group._

_“I gotta know if you can play or not, my sister wouldn't be with a slouch, we always play a big game with our cousins at thanksgiving and no way are we letting someone in the family that can't hold their end up,” Tim told her with his huge smile, dimples popping out as he talked._

_“Oh my god, are you still harboring this idea that I'm going to hit it off with your sister?” Callie grabbed the football from Tim and tossed it up in the air as she spoke. Tim reached out and grabbed it mid throw and held it tight to his chest._

_“It's not a matter of thinking, it's knowing. You're perfect for each other, I even told her about you the other day when we talked,” Callie reached out for the football again pulling it closer._

_“You told her about me? What did you say?”_

_“I told her you snored and chewed with your mouth open,” Tim took off running and Callie ran after him laughing, she then threw the ball at him and hit him square in the back. “Awwwww, hey,” he yelled out in pain. “Okay fine, fine, I told her I had this awesome friend here that she would like, that's it.”_

_“That better be it,” she pointed the end of the football at him with fierceness in her voice._

“Where'd you go?” Teddy asked noticing Callie was being distant again.

“He was so sure…” Callie said quietly as she looked out the window.

“Who?” Teddy was confused but then it dawned on her. “Tim? Are you talking about Tim?” Callie nodded her head, then closed her eyes as she thought about her friend.

“He was a good guy, you know?” Callie asked, not expecting an answer. “He was bound and determined we were going to meet, fall in love, get married and have kids. He just knew it.”

“I don't understand how this is a bad thing,” Teddy told her, face scrunched up in thought as she looked at her friend.

“I never said it was, I just don't know….” Callie stopped and looked at her friend. “I don't know if I'll ever be able to give those things to anyone and I don't want to hurt her in the process. I'm raw and exposed right now, I don't know if being in a relationship with this perfect woman is something I should do.”

“Well first off, she isn't perfect, I know that and she'd hate it if you thought she was. That's a lot for anyone to live up to. And second, maybe you should just tell her, take your time. No one is asking anyone else to get married and have kids. You're putting too much pressure on yourself right now. All it is right now is a date. One date. That's it. Don't think about next month or next year, think about this one date and take it for what it is. A date. Not a lifetime commitment.”

Callie nodded her head as she listened to her friend, knowing she was right. Callie had been putting too much pressure on herself for this date.

“You're right, I'm making too much out of it,” Callie grabbed her charts and started off out of the room.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“To find my date,” Callie told her with a smile then walked out of the room.

Xxxxxx

Callie glanced down the hall and saw the blonde standing at a nurses station working on charts, her pen was slightly in her mouth, face scrunched up, frowning as she looked down. Callie couldn't get over how adorable she looked right now, how could she let herself be scared of this woman, how could she even think she didn't know want a chance with her. She was a fool for almost screwing this up.

Arizona could feel the eyes on her and glanced up to see the brunette standing at the end of the hall, staring at her. When she'd been caught Callie gave her a little wave, looking very humble.

“Hey,” Arizona mouthed and waved back then scooped up her charts and walked away from the brunette. She didn't play games.

“Arizona!” She heard as she rounded the corner towards her office, Callie right on her heels.

“Calliope,” Arizona said matter of factly, head held high as Callie ran up to her. “Did you need something?”

Callie was struck speechless, she didn't know what to say now that she had the blonde in front of her who very clearly was upset. And rightly so. She wasn't going to make this easy on her, and Callie couldn't blame her.

“Arizona, I'm sorry, I really am, I freaked out and I didn't think clearly so instead I…”

“You hurt me. Just so we are clear. I thought we shared something the other day, besides a very sweet kiss, we agreed to go out and then you disappear on me for days. And I have to try and decide, is it me? Does she not like me? Am I reading into this?”

“No! Arizona, no! It's not you, you are perfect everything about you is perfect, it's me, it's all me, I promise. I just freaked out and couldn't figure out why you'd even want to go out with me and the little voices in my head convinced me that there was no way you actually did want to go out with me.”

“Well that's just stupid,” Arizona said curtly and a little too loudly causing Callie's eyes to go wide.

“Excuse me?”

“I made it very clear to you that I wanted to go out with you so I don't understand why you'd question that.”

“I just...it's been a long time since I've been on a date with anyone and I was just having a moment…” Callie looked down at her feet as she babbled along and Arizona couldn't help but think of how cute she was. “I mean it's been over three years since I've even asked someone out on a date and I just….”

“Callie, shut up please,” Callie stopped talking and looked at the blonde in front of her. “I want to go out on a date. With you. So please, can we go out on that perfect date you promised me?”

“Wel the thing is, it might not be perfect…” Callie was rubbing the back of her neck as she spoke but Arizona reached up, grabbed her arm and pulled it down, intertwining their hands as Callie fumbled along.

“Callie, I don't expect perfection. I do want to go out on a date with you, and if I'm there and you are there and we are spending time together then it will be perfect for me. Okay?”

Callie smiled at the blonde and looked down at their hands. They fit so nicely together, she noted and turned the hand over in hers and inspected the blonde's hand as she held it.

“Okay,” Callie told her but the blonde gave her a very expectant look. “Oh! Ummm, how about I pick you up tonight? Say around 7:30?”

“I think that will work for me, I'll see you then,” Arizona stood up on her tiptoes and gave the brunette a peck on her cheek, causing Callie to blush. “Bye Callie,” she told her as she opened her office door and went inside.

“Bye Arizona,” she gave the blonde a little wave as the door closed.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.


	12. Chapter 12

Arizona heard the knocking on the door to her apartment and felt the butterflies in her stomach erupted as she walked over to open it. She gently smoothed down her shirt and glanced down at her jeans and boots then reached for the door.

 

“Jesus…” she breathed out quietly when she saw the woman in front of her. Callie was wearing a short red dress, heels on, making her even taller than normal, large hoop earrings in with her hair falling down in large wavy curls. Her makeup was flawless, with smokey eyes and red lipstick but it didn't take Arizona but a second to see the panic in her face.

 

“I'm...I’m clearly overdressed,” she admitted to the blonde quietly and Arizona could see the embarrassment crawl up her face and felt bad. Up until this point she hadn't seen the woman dressed up this much, Arizona had dressed for a casual date, Callie had clearly dressed for more.

 

“No! I'm so sorry! I just….I read it wrong and I'm sorry,”

 

“I'll just go home and change,” Callie turned to walk away but Arizona's eyes bugged out of her head and grabbed the brunette by the arm pulling her into the apartment. 

 

“Don't you dare!” Arizona slammed the door and looked the brunette up and down again. “I just…” she let out a little breath then tried again, “up until now I've only seen you in scrubs and fatigues and a few times at the bar in jeans. I should apologize to you, you look… just wow,” Arizona smiled brightly at the brunette as she blushed a little. “I assumed this was a casual date and I clearly underestimated you and I'm sorry. You look beautiful and there is no way I want you to change, how about I go change into something a bit more first date appropriate,” Arizona started off for her room when she felt Callie pull her arm back.

 

“No, you look really...hot, I like the boots. Please don't change,” she smiled shyly at blonde. “I just haven't had a chance to wear a dress in a long time, a reason to wear a dress...a person to wear a dress for….”

 

“So we are going to go out like this?” Arizona smiled at Callie and got a cute smile back.

 

“Sure, why not? This is our date and if one of us is dressed up and one of us is casual, who cares,” Callie said matter of factly giving a nod of her head.

 

“Right. Who cares,” Arizona nodded back and glanced again at the brunette. She really did look amazing.

 

“Well are you ready? Oh! These are for you,” Callie grabbed a bunch of daisies that were sticking out of her purse. Arizona looked at the flowers that brought a smile to her face.

 

**_“Torres, I'm telling you my sister is the real deal,” Callie rolled her eyes as Tim tried to sell her on his sister again._ **

 

**_“Seriously, you need to give it up, besides anyone that needs their brother to get them a date must be…..,” Callie made an ugly face while Tim swatted at her._ **

 

**_“Shut up! My sister is no dog!”_ **

 

**_“Okay fine, what does she look like?”_ **

 

**_“She looks a lot like me,” he said proudly but Callie just burst out laughing._ **

 

**_“Oh nice, I'm picturing a six foot two woman with huge muscles and a flat top, just my type!”_ **

 

**_“Oh my god you are such an ass, she looks like me in that we both have blonde hair and dimples, she's a little bitty thing,” he used his hand to find her imaginary height next to him._ **

 

**_“Well that's good, the last thing I want to date is a you, i like a woman that wants to dress up and go out, I want to bring her flowers and dance, things like that.”_ **

 

**_“See you're perfect for each other she loves all that mushy crap. Oh!! She loves daisies, they are her favorite flower! She says they always bring a smile to her face because they are really just a ditch weed but so simple and pretty. Bring her flowers on your first date, she'll be putty in your hands!” He said wagging his eyebrows at his friend._ **

 

Callie watched as Arizona pulled the flowers up to her face and smell them and it brought a smile to Callie to know that she had made the woman happy. She wondered what it would be like to be the cause of that for the rest of time.

 

“Thank you so much Callie, they are beautiful. Let me put them in some water and we can go,” Arizona walked into the kitchen to steady herself and tried to calm down some of her nerves, she hadn't planned on Callie looking so incredible and it was really doing a number on her.

 

“Where's Teddy at tonight?” Callie called to Arizona once she had disappeared.

 

“She had a date, but she didn't sound too excited about it,” Arizona reappeared and looked at her date again. How had she gotten so lucky?

 

“So I was thinking maybe we'd start with dinner then some dancing after?”’Callie asked as Arizona linked her arm in the crook of Callie's while they walked out of the apartment.

 

“Sure, sounds perfect.”

 

“Do you mind if we walk? It's a nice night and the restaurant is just a few blocks.”

 

“Of you don't mind walking in heels I'm fine with it,” Arizona smiled down at the heels on the woman and noticed how sexy they made her legs look. She sucked in a breath as she stared at the legs then let it out slowly. 

 

“How long have you been in Seattle?” Callie decided maybe they should clear some of the first date stuff now, it would help settle her stomach.

 

“I've been here for three years now, it's been fun and exciting, I love having my own department, but it was scary when I first came here. How about you and Teddy? Since we are breaking ice, how long have you known her?”

 

“I met her about two years ago, I was just getting it Iraq and she was nearing the end of her tour. Women are few and far between over there let alone medical women and even fewer female doctors so we hit it off right away. I kind of clung to her and learned the ropes through her, I don't know what I would have done without her.”

 

“Okay I'll ask,” Arizona said as Callie he'd the door open for her to enter the restaurant.

 

“Two please?” Callie told the hostess and looked at the blonde. “Ask away,” she said with a sigh, knowing sooner or later she'd have to answer some questions.

 

“Military doctor? Why?”

 

“Well, I was in college, happy and thriving when I decided I wanted to go to med school, my parents were as excited as I had ever seen them. I applied around to different schools and got in, and then I decided to introduce them to my girlfriend. They were unimpressed with that little revelation in my life. My father said he wouldn't pay for anymore schooling if I was going to live that sort of lifestyle. So being the hardhead that I am, I joined the military, they agreed to pay for my medical degree but I had to do a tour after my residency was over. In hindsight if I had just gone to my dad and talked to him he probably would have bent for me eventually but I was stubborn and wouldn't give.”

 

“So what did they say?” Callie shrugged her shoulders and took a drink from her water. 

 

“I never looked back, I haven't  seen my parents or sister in almost ten years now.” Arizona let her mouth drop open then closed it hoping she didn't make the woman feel too bad.

 

“Callie…”

 

“I'm not going to apologize for it. He continued to pay for my sister as she flew around the world with no real goals, buying everything that caught her fancy, doing drugs and men like they were there for her personal enjoyment. I had my life together, I got into one of the best medical school, I had perfect grades my whole life and I tell them this one thing about me, that shouldn't matter to anyone but me and he turned his back on me. So, no, I won't apologize for it.” Callie looked stern as she spoke and Arizona knew from her voice this had been a big deal for her.

 

“I'd never ask you to apologize for the hurt someone else inflicted on you. That's on them. But you seem like maybe...you aren't quite at peace with it. Have you thought about calling them now that you're back? Do they even know you went?” Callie shrugged her shoulders.

 

“I have no idea. I haven't spoken to anyone in my family since my dad walked out on me. So what they know and don't know is not something that I know.”

 

“Callie…”

 

“It's okay Arizona,” Callie cut her off, she knew what the blonde was going to say. “I'm okay with it.”

 

“But I just can't imagine not talking to my family for ten years. That's just….that's a really long time because you are too stubborn to give in.”

 

“Hey! Is not on me, they didn't want to accept…” Arizona held up her hand.

 

“Stop. I don't think I said that correctly. I mean, you seem like maybe you want to try, that maybe a little push in that direction would get you to try.”

 

Callie nursed her drink for a moment then looked up, “Dr Taylor has suggested it might be a good idea for me to contact them, but I've been ignoring her on that so far. But….maybe I will, I'll think about it.”

 

“You know, if you called them, I'd be there for you, just in case they did or didn't answer,” Arizona smiled at the brunette with her cute dimples showing up.

 

“You're a sweet talker, you know that?”

 

“Hmmm, well I try. I just think ten years is a long time to hold a grudge, maybe they've changed, maybe they want to try. You'll never know unless you contact them.”

 

“I know,” Callie got quiet and looked down at her hands resting in her lap then looked back up at the blonde. She pulled her hands from her lap and extended it across the table. The blonde immediately moved her hand to the table and let their hands touch. “I need to say a few things and they might not be fair to you, but I think it's important to say them.” Arizona scrunched her face and looked at their hands holding each other then up to the brunette.

 

“I've already told you let's take this slow. We don't need giant steps just yet.”

 

“I know and you've been wonderful about all of it, but I just want to say that slow is a really good speed for me right now. The slower the better, but if you feel at any time you need to take a break or step back away from me for a little bit…”

 

“Hey! I told you that I'm in this, I'm not backing out ow.”

 

“Not backing out, and I know what you've said it's just that….coming back to the states was hard, it's been a serious adjustment, then starting a new job, trying to assimilate with colleagues and starting therapy...it's all been so huge and crazy I just want to..”

 

“You want to give me an out is what you're doing, and I don't appreciate it,” Arizona had her stern face on as she looked at Callie. “I like you, a lot and I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't. I'm okay with slow, I'm not pushing for anything am I?” Callie shook her head. “So stop trying to push me away.”

 

“I'm not trying..”

 

“You are!” Arizona quipped causing Callie to be on alert. “You're making all these decisions and you aren't asking me what I want.” Callie cleared her throat, then looked at the blonde.

 

“What do you want?” Callie quietly asked, taking a drink of her wine.

 

“For right now? This. I'm not the best at relationships, I tend to run and I'm busy with kids at work as well as research. So slow would be great for me.”

 

Callie reached down for a bite of food and looked back at the blonde and was amazed that she had been lucky enough to find this woman. Deep down she felt her stomach churn a bit as she thought about her problem that was at home in a drawer. Tucked away for now.

 

“First kiss?” Arizona asked pulling Callie out of her thoughts getting a quizzical look from her. “Your first kiss.”

 

“Oh! James the boy down the street where I grew up. You?”

 

“Sadie, my biology lab partner in class,” Callie smiled at her. “First real love?” 

 

“Ahh, that would be Erica,” Callie purses her lips and looked away for a moment.

 

“Story?”

 

“I fell for her in our residency, we took to each other immediately. But when I went away for my tour she couldn't get behind it. She was against the war and broke up with me. I tried for a year to contact her, calling, emailing, and finally one I got a letter, “stop contacting me, we are over.” And that was it. I realized that no matter what I did, no matter what I felt or how I felt it was t the same for her. Our differences were just too much.”

 

“God, I'm sorry. That really must….well she certainly doesn't know what she's missing out on.” Arizona stated matter of factly with a firm nod of her head. Callie barked out a loud laugh and threw her head back, eyes on fire.

 

“Yeah I'm sure that's just what's she's saying, “boy I sure miss Callie, her PTSD and her lack of the ability to let anyone close anymore.” Arizona could barely focus on what the woman said as she was too captivated with her smile.

 

“Calliope, you are a beautiful woman with a heart of gold, I've only known you a short time but anyone that would give you up that easily is nothing short of a moron.” Callie looked at her with forlornness in her face, features softening and grabbed Arizona's hand again.

 

“It's been so long since anyone has called me that. I've missed it.”

 

“It's a beautiful name, and deserved to be used.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“For using your name?”

 

“No, for all of this. For trusting me, giving me a chance, and for going out on a date with me.”

 

“Well!” Arizona rolled her eyes in exaggeration, “it's certainly a hardship to be on a date with the most beautiful woman in the room tonight,” Callie blushed and looked down, the red creeping up her face. “I'm serious, by the way, there's no one that could hold a candle to your beauty, and not just tonight. Thanks for asking me out tonight, there's nowhere I'd rather be.” She gave Callie a satisfied look.

 

“Well, how about some dancing, there is a little jazz bar just around the corner and they have a wonderful band that I've actually heard of playing tonight.”

 

“Gosh, slow dancing with you while listening to the smooth sound of jazz to lull us, count me in,” Arizona squeezed Callie's hand and pulled her up to her feet. “Let's go.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

“when you said you wanted to take me dancing this isn't at all what I thought you had in mind,” Arizona whispered to the body holding her close. Callie had her hand on Arizona’s lower back, just barely above her butt, hands intertwined close to their faces, Arizona's head was resting on Callie's shoulder as they swayed to the sultry music that had been filling the room for hours. Stormy Weather was currently being belted out with all its iconic melodic soothing.

“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?” Callie asked not opening her eyes but continuing the swaying they were doing occasionally moving their feet a bit just to show they weren't sleeping.

“I assumed a club with sweaty jumping around, but this,” Arizona nuzzled in even closer to the brunette, “this beats that any day of the week. This is perfect.” They had been in this exact position for quite some time now, neither daring to move too much for fear the other would pull back and they would lose their closeness, something neither of them was willing to do just yet.

“No thanks to the sweaty jumping around, this is more my speed,” Callie told her leaning her head down and capturing Arizona's lips in a lazy kiss then moving her head jack up, Arizona's other hand was at one point on the back of Callie's neck but over time it had moved up the long neck and had buried itself in the brunettes wavy locks where is had slowly been massaging the head as they swayed to the music.

“Well I have to say that I am enjoying this so much more,” Arizona had been with her fare share of women over the years and had to unfortunately admit she had never taken one to a jazz bar and cuddled while listening to steamy music. Thinking back on it now she realized just how stupid that had been of her because this was utterly pure perfection now that she was in the position. How had she gone all these years and never thought this was so much of a better option than a loud club? This, was as close to the sexiest date she had ever been on, and with the beautiful woman next to her, holding her, massaging her back, holding her hand, the occasional kiss, she wasn't sure if she had ever been on a better date. “How are your feet holding up?” Arizona asked knowing the other woman had been standing in heels for quite a while and knew of it had been her, her feet would be screaming.

“They are fine,” Callie told then pulled back a little. “But I do have to get going soon, I have an early consult and while I'd love to do this until well into the wee hours, I know I can't be late to this meeting. Owen is just about to give me privileges back in the OR and I don't have any to get it taken away from me before I even get it.”

Arizona poked her lip out a little and felt her pout creep into her face, she was happy right where she was and didn't want to have to say goodbye to the woman just yet, but knew she was going to have to.

“That might have been the most adorable thing you've ever done and I've seen you do some crazy things!” Callie pulled back at arm's length from the woman laughing at her. “I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you,” Callie gave her a sincere look but Arizona’s eyes flashed a bit with mischief.

“Oh yeah, and how are you going to do that?” Arizona pulled the brunette back in her arms, straining up on her tiptoes to kiss Callie, gently nibbling on her lip when the kiss ended. “Because I feel like you have a lot of making up to do.”

“Uhhh,” Callie stared down at the blonde on her tiptoes as she watched her nibble and kiss at her lips. She lifted her hands up so they dug into the blonde's hair, pulling her close. “I'm excellent at making up for things, trust me,” she told the blonde and let her lips take over, claiming the blonde, letting their lips explore a little more than they had in the past. Callie kept her hands in the blonde locks, keeping her close, securing their position as she continued to kiss, finally pulling back and peering back down at the blonde who had her eyes closed, head thrown back and a completely blissed out look on her face. 

“Damn,” Arizona whispered out, slowly opening her eyes to see the beautiful brunette smiling at her. Callie gave her one more little peck then pulled back, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her a little.

“Come on, let's get you home,” the two women walked out of the bar,snuggled up, arms linked and whispering to each other, giggling occasionally and if the average person had seen them, they would have sworn they had been together for a lifetime. 

Xxxxxxxxxx

Arizona walked into the lounge only to see Callie with her head down, massaging her temples, clearly not in the best of moods. She could almost feel the heat resonating off the brunette as she let the door quietly close behind her.

“What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?” Arizona stood with her back to the door, smiling at the woman before her. Callie glanced up at the blonde with a perplexed look on her face, hands dropping from her head to look at her, she finally shrugged her shoulders knowing the blonde was waiting.

“An investigator,” she smiled as big as she saw a small grin creep up on the brunette.

“You know your jokes really stink,” Callie sat back in the chair as Arizona approached the table sitting down after a second.

“At least you smiled this time, last time I told you jokes you didn't even crack a smile, you just stared at me like I was crazy!”

“Well can you blame me? I just returned to the states and the first person I come in contact with is a beautiful perky blonde pediatrician with a penchant for telling kids joke,” Arizona beamed at the brunette as she spoke then grabbed her hand, looking down shyly.

“Beautiful huh?” Arizona asked quietly looking up out of the tops of her eyes at the brunette.

“Well, yeah,” Callie scooted a little closer to the woman, giving her a small peck on the cheek. “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Maybe I need to start telling you more now that we're dating.” Arizona scrunched up her face a little bit then looked down. “What?”

“It's just….is that we are doing? Are we dating? Like exclusively dating? As in girlfriends?” Arizona was asking and very unsure of herself as she did which caused Callie only to smile more.

“Well, yeah, I mean i think that's what we're doing, it's what I hoped we were doing anyway. Is that not what you thought?” Callie looked slightly amused as she spoke.

“No! Yes that's exactly what I wanted I just wasn't sure if that's what you wanted. I know we said slow, I just didn't know if labels fit into your idea of slow.”

“Labels are perfect for people taking it slow.”

“Why were you looking so upset when I came in earlier?” Arizona decided to change the subject since she was a little embarrassed by what she has asked but glad they had gotten it out of the way.

“Oh, ugh,” Callie closed her eyes again, “I'm tired and Owen didn't like the work I was doing earlier and has postponed my OR debut yet again. He says he'd like to see a little more progress with Dr Taylor before he will release me. So I'm still sitting on the sidelines, wishing things would getting better faster but unable to make it happen.”

“Mmmm, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?” Arizona asked rubbing the brunettes hand in her own while they talked.

“I have a meeting tonight, but maybe we could have dinner together? That always makes me feel better, spending time with you.” 

“You, are the biggest sweet talker,” Arizona smiled at Callie and gave her a small kiss. “How about I cook us dinner and you can come over after your meeting, we can have a quiet night in.” Callie closed her eyes then opened them back up to see the blonde waiting for her answer.

“I think that sounds amazing, thank you.”

“No thanks necessary, just text me when you get out so I know when to have things ready. I have to go now though, I have a surgery in twenty minutes. I'll see you tonight,” Arizona stood up, then bent back over to give the brunette a kiss. 

As she was kissing her the door opened up and Teddy walked through the door.

“Hey Teddy. I'll see you later,” Arizona walked out of the room as both women watched her walk away.

“Well you two are certainly cozy,” Teddy looked at her friend who had a huge grin on her face but it was wiped off as soon as her friend spoke. “You give her that letter yet?”

Callie stood up and walked towards the door as the words still lingered in the air.

“You need to give it to her, I know you're scared. It the longer you wait the worse it's going to be,” Teddy called out as Callie opened the door and walked out, not once looking back at her friend.


	14. Chapter 14

“Hey Owen, how are you?” Arizona had seen the man enter the attendings lounge and followed him in, she needed to talk to him about callie. Would Callie approve? Probably not, but she had to do it. She was a fixer, she liked to fix things and she needed to fix this.

“Robbins, I'm good,” he put things in his locker and started to tie his shoes. The day was almost over for her and she had been trying to catch him all day, finally stalking him was her last option as she really wanted to talk to him.

“You know I was talking to Callie and she's been doing so much better lately.” Owen stopped and looked up at the blonde. She knew she was crossing a line here but she felt she had to do it, she had to say something to him because she had seen the defeat on Callie's face this morning after working so hard for weeks. 

“I'm not going to talk to you about her progress Arizona.” He fixed his shoe and stood up giving her a stern look. He was irritated she could tell, but she just had to tell him her thoughts. 

“I know. I KNOW!! It's totally unethical and all that but I just….she's making so much progress and she's trying so hard and this morning she was really hoping you were going to give her surgery privileges back and she was just so beat up about it. I just wanted you to know she's really trying hard.” She bit her lip in anticipation of what he was going to say. Was he going to yell at her for getting in his face about a colleague. Her girlfriend? 

“Arizona,” Owen stopped at the door and looked at her. “She doesn't sleep in her room. Ever. I came out at two in the morning last night, and she was sitting on the couch watching the history channel. Some show about the Zeppelins of World War 2, and she was just staring at that screen, eyes wide open. At some point in the night she will nod off for an hour or two here and there. But she doesn't sleep, and she gets migraines because of it, which then makes her miserable. I know you care about her and she is trying, the work with her doctor and her meetings is great, but I can't put someone in the OR that hasn't slept more than an hour or two and has migraines. She's doing well, but she needs to be doing better before I can put her in the OR again.”

Arizona looked at him, humbled by what he had told her, she had no idea about the sleeping, she could tell the woman looked tired a lot, but she had no idea it was that bad. 

“Does she stay up all night?”

“Usually. She never goes to her room, I don't know if it's scary to be in there by herself or if it's just overwhelming, it's different for everyone, this is a disease she is working with, and it's not an easy fix. I'm not sure what the holdback is for her, I talked to her doctor about it, and I know they are working on it, but so far she still just sits on that couch all night.” Arizona nodded her head in understanding.

“Thanks a lot Owen, and I'm sorry for not trusting your judgement.”

“You're good for her Robbins, I can see how she changes when you are around, and I think your presence in her life is helping, but she still has a long journey ahead of her. It took me a lot of therapy to get to where I am now and I still have issues. Don't expect anything to happen with her overnight, it's going to take time. I hope you know what you're in for here,” he said and walked out of the room.

“Of course, thanks again,” Arizona called as he walked out the door, she slumped into the couch next to her and closed her eyes. What was she supposed to do?

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Arizona had gone to the store and picked up all the ingredients for dinner, she had been in the kitchen prepping for a while and drinking wine while listening to music. She was nervous and so she just ket drinking and dancing hoping the nerves would go away. But so far they hadn't. She really wanted to talk to Callie about the sleeping issue and knew it wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

She heard her phone ping and looked at it.

Callie: I'm not going to be able to make dinner tonight, I'm really sorry, but I'm exhausted and am just now getting out of my meeting. Can we have a do over tomorrow?

Oh hell no. She had been cutting vegetable for what felt like hours.

“Hello?” She heard on the other end of the phone.

“Come over,” Arizona ordered. The wine had gone straight to her nerves.

“Arizona, I'm really tired, I just want to go home, I'm sorry, I know I promised…”

“No.” Arizona interrupted.

“What?” Callie sounded exasperated.

“I said no. You get over here now, I've cooked and chopped and cleaned and there is no way you are bailing on me because you're tired. So get over here.”

“Are you… ordering me?” Callie let out a little laugh which caused Arizona to get her nerves back under control.

“Yes, I am. Get your butt over here, I've made dinner and I don't want to hear anymore about it.” And she hung up.

Callie held the phone in her hand, mouth open as she stared and wondered what had just happened. This woman was crazy!

Xxxxxxx

“Hey!” Arizona answered the door, full on smile as she greeted the brunette standing in her doorway, wine in hand.

“Well from the looks of things you might not need this,” Callie laughed as she handed over the wine, wondering how much the other woman had already. 

“Oh I haven't had that much,” Arizona called over her shoulder as she walked into the kitchen with Callie trailing behind. “besides, I needed a little liquid courage for tonight so I'm glad you brought more.”

“Liquid courage?” Callie scrunched up her face at that comment. “Why would you need liquid courage?”

“How was your meeting?” Arizona handed the brunette a glass of wine then went back to her work at the island in her kitchen.

“It was fine…” Callie hesitated trying to keep up with the blonde. She was changing the subject she could tell, and wasn't sure why. Callie sat down in one of the stools across from Arizona at the island where she was chopping. “What are we having?”

“Well!! You are in for a treat tonight, sweets because I pulled out all the stops for this,” Arizona grabbed a bowl from behind her and placed it in front of Callie. “To start with, my very special guacamole, it's been known to cause people to propose,” Callie laughed at the exuberance of the blonde. “Then for dinner we are having steak with grilled parmesan asparagus and scalloped potatoes.” She stood before the brunette with a giant grin on her face.

“Wow.”

“Oh!! And I made dessert too!” She looked very proud of all her accomplishments as she grabbed some veggies and chips for the guacamole and sat next to Callie on the other stool, wedging her knees in between Callie's so they were a little closer.

“You've been very busy, I can see why you were so forceful about me wanting to come over.” Arizona's mouth dropped open.

“It wasn't about the food Callie. I wanted you to come over because I wanted to be with you. Screw the food, I just wanted to see you.”

“No i know, it was just a little joke.”

“Was it?” Arizona thought she'd push. “You always sell yourself short, and you shouldn't do that. I wanted to spend time with you tonight because I like you and I enjoy your company and besides those things, you're my girlfriend.” Arizona gave her a big smile as Callie looked down at her hands, but Callie immediately felt a hand on her chin lift her head back up. “I like you. Do you hear me? I like you and want to spend time with you.”

Callie felt tears spring to the back of her eyes and Arizona immediate saw them there and pulled her in for a hug. 

“I don't want you to second guess me and how I feel about you. Okay?” Arizona pulled back and saw Callie's wet eyes staring at her. “I talked to Owen today,” she started and immediate felt Callie go stiff and pull back.

“You what?”

“I talked to Owen, I wanted him to know that I had seen your progress and knew how hard you'd been trying..”

“I didn't ask you to do that,” Callie stood up from the stool and walked away from Arizona.

“I know you didn't ask me to, I wanted to. I wanted him to know how I've seen you trying so hard.” Arizona stopped and watched the woman before her stare out the window into the dead of the night. “Do you know what he told me?”

Callie didn't answer, instead continued to stare.

“He says you don't sleep at night that you stay up…”

“That's not true,” her voice was small, even Arizona could tell it wasn't true.

“He says you stay up all night watching television. That you don't sleep in your room and that you get headaches from being up all night.” Arizona stopped and waited, unsure what the brunette was going to do. She hadn't moved from her spot since she left the island. “If you want to talk about anything...I'm always here.”

“No,” the voice squeaked out, barely audible but it was there.

“No? Why not? You can tell me anything Callie, I'm here for you, to listen and just hold you if that's what you need.”

Callie shook her head, eyes closed as she tried to make the talking stop.

“I don't want to talk about it. You don't want to hear it.”

“Callie! I just told you I wanted to hear it! I just told you I'd like to hear anything you have to say…”

“You aren't hearing me. You don't want to hear what I have to say,” Callie has her eyes closed then opened them to look at the blonde.

“But I do…” Arizona told her and she could see the fire light in Callie's eyes.

“YOU DON'T!” She barked causing Arizona to jump. “You don't want to hear that when I go in my room and lay down I hear the gunshots. I hear the bombs. I hear my friends screaming for help. I see...oh Jesus the things I see when I go in that room,” she looked away for a minute. “I see the blood and the limbs and the blood, God all the blood. And the worst thing I see is my friend in my arms...dying. He died in my arms, one of the greatest guys I've ever met and he died on me. And I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save him. And he looked at me, and he forgave me, but deep down I saw the fear in his eyes. He looked at me like someone that knew he would never get married. Like someone that knew he wouldn't have kids and go to Disney, open up Christmas gifts say goodbye to his parents, or just….just get out of there alive. He died and I couldn't help him. I couldn't save him. And that's what I think about when I close my eyes. When I try to sleep I just live that over and over each night, I watch my friend die. It just...never, stops. He just keeps dying and I'm never going to be able to save him, I'm never going to be able to keep it from happening and he will always die. And I just don't know how many more times I can watch it happen. How many times do I have to live through it?”

Arizona had tears in her eyes as she listened to Callie talk, she could tell the woman had stopped because she was done but she also knew that what she had said had been so important. It had hurt her, but it was out there now and it was so extremely important.

Arizona walked back into the kitchen and started taking plates out of the cabinets and placing food on them. Callie watched, mouth open as she moved around.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm finishing up dinner, what's it look like?” Callie stared at her, unsure of what to do. “Come on over. Now that we got that out of the way, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of us, don't you?” Callie nodded her head and started to open her mouth but Arizona shook her head. “No more, not tonight, let's enjoy our dinner then maybe watch a movie, okay? I'll even let you cuddle with me,” a huge grin came across the blonde's face as she spoke causing Callie to laugh a little. 

“You will, huh?” Callie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, unable to figure out how she had gotten so lucky with this woman. 

“Yeah, but later, let's eat now.” Arizona set two plates of food down then gave her a kiss on the lips. “Come on, before it gets cold.” She grabbed the brunettes hand and led her over to the plates then sat down and dig in.

Things had gone much better than she had even hoped for.


	15. Chapter 15

Callie was just about asleep, the hand massaging her scalp, playing with her hair, tenderly rubbing at her n close was making her sleepy, but she loved this. They had sat down on the couch to watch a movie and somehow Callie had ended up with her head in Arizona's lap, afghan thrown over her legs and the cuddling had commenced. At this point in time, Callie had zero complaints.

“I've missed this,” Callie whispered groggily as Arizona smiled down at her.

“We've never done this before,” Arizona laughed lightly at the words.

“No, I know I just mean, I love to have someone play with my hair. My mom used to do it when I was little and I really miss it.”

“What was she like?” Arizona knew it took a lot to get Callie to talk about her family and now that she had brought them up, she didn't want her to drop it, but rather wanted to try and draw out some of her memories.

Callie closed her eyes and rolled over so that she was facing Arizona rather than the television and snuggled into her a little more.

“She was the type of mom that had snacks waiting for us when we got home from school, made us clean our rooms and would take us on adventures all the time. I remember one time she threw us in the car and we drove for two hours to have the best strawberry pie. She had read this article and she said “if it's the best, I want my girls to experience it.”

“Was it?” Arizona asked still playing with her hair and slumping down just a little more so she was closer to the woman.

“I have no idea, it was good I remember, but what did I have to compare it to? I was around seven or so, Aria was eleven.”

“Do you miss your sister?” Callie waited a few beats and Arizona began to wonder if she had fallen asleep. But then….

“I do, we were never super close, but she was my sister and we spent holidays together and stuff like that. The last I saw her she was boarding a plane for Monaco and now it's ten years later. I have no idea what she's even up to now, for all I know she could be married with kids. I have no idea.”

“You never googled her? Facebook stalked her?” Arizona laughed and Callie chuckled with her.

“No, I was always so busy I just figured if she wanted to see me, she would.”

“Maybe she says the same about you.”

Callie didn't say anything, instead inched a little closer into Arizona and gave her a kiss on her stomach, breathing heavily against the blonde's midsection.

“You're very pushy.” Arizona barked a laugh out then looked down at the brunette staring up at her.

“How am I pushy?!” Arizona asked her looking down at the beautiful woman in her lap.

“I know what you're doing, asking me about them so I'll talk about them and miss them then call them.”

“You brought them up, I didn't.”

“I used to talk to my dad, every Sunday night, when I went away to college we started it, no matter what else happened, we would always talk. But I haven't talked to him in so long now...I think about them all the time, wonder what they are doing, if they are healthy, how they've been.” Arizona waited for a few minutes then spoke up.

“Maybe you should just try. You can always hang up if they answer, that might be all you need today is to hear a voice.”

“See. Pushy.”

“I'm not trying to be honey, I just think….I think you need to do this. You talk about them and I can tell you want to, so I just want to be supportive of you and help you if I can.”

“You know what I missed in Iraq?” Arizona heard the change in subject and knew they were done talking about families for now.

“What's that?”

“Touch. You never touch people. I mean as a surgeon I was constantly touching people in that way, but in a physical way, there was no touching, hugs, things like that. And I don't mean intimacy, I just mean normal physical need to touch another person. I missed that.” She was still snuggled into Arizona, while the blonde continued to massage her scalp and run her hands through her hair.

“So no cuddling on the couch?”

“Haha! That would be a big fat no!” Callie laughed and looked up at the blonde, who gently stroked her face, brushing the hair back from her, tucking it behind her ear then leaning down and giving the brunette a kiss.

“I find you amazing, the more you talk the more I want to hear, the more I hear the more I want to know about you.” Callie pulled the blonde back down for another kiss, a hand crawling into her scalp and holding her close by the nape of her neck, not wanting the intimacy to end just yet.

“I need to tell you so much, there's so much more to say, I feel like I have years worth of stories to tell you.” Callie drew back and looked at the blonde that she always got when she had something super important to say.

“That's great, but it doesn't have to be today. We’ll save some of stories for another date.” Arizona told her.

“I have to go,” Callie stated but made no move yet.

“Why? We are comfortable right here,” Arizona kissed her again, hoping to keep her in place. “What if I held you and actually let you sleep tonight? Do you think that'd help?” As the words came out of her mouth Callie sat up immediately, the thought of spending the night with Arizona brought anxiety rushing over her. She almost couldn't stand the words being spoken as she got up from the couch, running her hands through her hair.

“I have to go.”

“Callie, no don't go, I'm sorry, we can just sit and talk, you don't have to sleep,” Arizona got up and followed the brunette as she randomly started grabbing things, first one shoe, then her coat then another shoe and her purse. She was holding everything in her arms standing in front of the door.

“I have to go.”

“Callie…” Arizona started as she gently placed a hand on Callie's arm, she didn't want to startle the woman, but she wanted her to know how much she wanted her to stay. “I know you're scared, but why don't you stay?”

“I have to go,” she was shaking her head and opening the door while juggling her personal items, dropping a shoe and trying to get it and get out the door.

“I'll let you leave if you give me one good reason why,” Arizona said, hand on the doorframe, between Callie and her freedom. Callie looked at the blonde, suddenly pulled from her trance, seeing the blonde again, and not just a person, but the person that had been tender and caring with her all night.

“Because I won't be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you, I'm not ready to be with people while I sleep yet. If I did something…..” Callie shook her head, bending down to retrieve the shoe that had fallen again. Arizona reached out and grabbed the shoes, then her purse and finally draped callie’s coat over her arm, then pulled the door shut.

“Stop protecting me, I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. Let's put another movie on and sit back down. Okay?”

“It's late Arizona….”

“I know, I took a nap this afternoon and I'm not going to be ready for bed for awhile. So come on, come sit with me,” Arizona turned the conversation away from Callie and instead onto herself, hoping the other woman wouldn't notice but knowing she was smart enough that she would, but wouldn't mention it. She placed Callie things in the chair by the door and grabbed Callie's hand, pulling her along with her. She turned off the lights, sat on the couch, patting her lap again. “Come on, I want to go back to where we were before.”

Callie stood in her spot still, staring at the blonde. She wasn't sure if she should go back to laying down or not. She really wanted to, but a part of her wanted to run, run from the room, the apartment, the city and just keep running. There was no way she was ever going to cause this woman anything but heartache.

“Callie?” Arizona called again and pulled Callie out of her thoughts. “Come on.” Callie walked over to the couch and sat next to the blonde, the spred her body across the couch and looked at the blonde.

“Will you hold me?” She asked in a quiet voice, a little shaky, and a little unsure until she saw the blonde smile and crawl behind her. Arizona spread the blanket over them, fluffed up a pillow and cozied in behind Callie, an arm draped over her hip and face nuzzled into Callie's neck from behind.

“Now this, is something I could get used to,” Arizona whispered in her ear and she knew for certain the brunette was smiling, and she could feel the body next to her relax under her arms. It wasn't but a few moments and she could hear the patterns of the breathing change for the brunette and Arizona knew she was sleeping. She hoped that Callie would be able to sleep, if nothing but for a few hours, to finally get a good night of sleep would be such a relief for her. Arizona gave her kisses on her neck every so often to reassure her that she was safe and so that she could hopefully find some peace for once. 


	16. Chapter 16

Arizona wrapped her arm around Callie's arms and torso in order to hold her down. She then quietly leaned in and whispered in her ear “you're safe….you're safe….you're safe.”

She found herself doing this same ritual four times as the night went along. Callie would be in the middle of a dream, start to call out and fling around, but Arizona knew that if she reassured her and gave her a bear hug, it should calm her down. Arizona had worked with enough kids over the years that had seen and lived through traumatic events and she knew that reassuring them of their safety helped. So, Arizona decided to treat Callie just like one of her kids, and tried to tell her she as safe and just kept reassuring her of that.

“Mmmmm,” Callie started to call out again but Arizona knew this time it was different though. She could tell the brunette was waking up by her breathing.

“Hey,” Arizona whispered in her ear, giving her a little kiss on the ear and hoped the woman was okay with a little morning cuddling, or this was going to be awkward since she was still holding her close.

“Hey,” Callie drew out and slightly turned her head so she could see Arizona. “My god.” Callie said and turned back over away from Arizona.

“What?” Callie shook her head and started to sit up, but lacing her hand in the blonde's hand once she was sitting up. Callie looked back down at Arizona as she sat with a perplexed look on her face. Callie leaned down and gave the blonde a little peck on the lips while caressing her cheek with her free hand.

“It has been years since I've slept that good. Did you slip something in my drink? NyQuil? Tylenol Pm?” Arizona let out a little laugh and a sigh of relief at the same time, glad that the brunette was in a good mood. She knew that the woman had woken up quite a bit and wasn't sure how it would affect her.

“Yeah? I'm glad, even though you woke up a lot.” Callie immediately sat up on alert.

“Did I keep you awake?” Callie drew her eyebrows together, worried that the blonde would be tired.

“No. I slept great. I'm glad you did too, by the way,” Arizona did wake up a lot, but she didn't really care, she was glad that she had helped Callie get a good sleep.

“How about if I take us out for breakfast? As a thank you,” Callie asked her, noticing the blonde looked so beautiful on the couch, she wondered briefly what it would be like to wake up to her each morning. Cuddled up, kisses and pillowtalk as they pulled themselves out of slumber.

“I don't need a thank you, but I'd be more than happy to cook here.” Callie shook her head.

“No way, you cooked last night, I can't let you cook two meals in a row for me.”

“Can she cook?” Callie asked Tim walking into his tent. She was starving from eating ramen for the past three days straight. Good food was hard to come by these days as they were far away from their head camp.

“You mean my sister? Yeah she can cook. Can you cook? I'm not setting my sister up with some slouch in the kitchen that expects her to cook all the meals. My sister is not going to be your maid!” he told her pointing at her with a smile on his face.

“Yeah I can cook you jerk,” Callie laughed and grabbed a Capri sun from his bunk. “I used to cook all the time, but now, I feel like I wouldn't know what to do if you put me in a kitchen. God what I'd do for a home cooked meal right now.”

“I know what you mean.” He said and laid down on the cot and she sat on the end, looking at him. Callie's time was slowly dwindling down, she had been in the heat for long enough that she wanted to get back stateside, and it was going to happen in about seven months. She couldn't wait to get out of the dry heat and the craziness that she had been seeing.

“think we will be able to assimilate when we get back?” She asked him quietly. Tim looked up at the top of his tent, not wanting to look at her. Callie knew what that answer was, she wasn't sure why she had asked such a stupid thing of him. That was the thing over here, they didn't ask questions. They all tried to keep it light, because no one wanted to talk about the heaviness that loomed on all of them. No one talked about leaving or when their time was going to be up, because the guy next to you might have four years left while you only had a month. And no one wants to listen to that.

“I have a letter, in my helmet,if anything ever happens to me, can you get it to her for me?” Tim said quietly to Callie as she sat at the end of his bunk sucking on the Capri sun. She was a little surprised.

“For your sister? Not your parents?” She thought it was odd to not have a letter for his parents but instead his sister.

“Her name is Arizona Robbins and she works in Seattle as a pediatric doctor. If anything happens I need you to get that letter to her, Torres,” he was serious as she had ever seen him as he spoke to her.

“Sure. Consider it done, but you know nothing is going to happen, me and you Tim, we are going to walk out of here together and you are going to set me up with your sister, remember?” She had felt things had gotten too heavy suddenly. “Seattle huh? I have friends in Seattle, maybe we get out of here and we go to Seattle together and I set you up with my friend Teddy, she'd be perfect for you. She's a doctor too.”

“Hey?” Arizona called as she saw Callie staring off in the distance. “You okay?” Callie shook her head and stood up, reached down with her hand to help the blonde up.

“Yeah, I was just thinking,” she said when she heard the door open and they both turned to see Teddy walk in.

“Well, well this is an early morning date,” she set her things down and Callie knew she was trying to keep her shock at bay, but she wasn't doing a very good job.

“I'm going to freshen up, I'll be right back,” Arizona walked into her room waving the friends.

“Sleep over? You ready for that?” Teddy asked crossing her arms and staring down the brunette.

“All we did was sleep, I didn't plan on staying but I will say it was the best sleep I've had in years, I actually slept all night long.”

“Are you still lashing out in your sleep? Because if you are….”

“I'm not going to hurt her Teddy,” Teddy stared at Callie, who gave a large gulp as she said it. Even Callie didn't believe herself. She couldn't be sure right now what she was doing, and Teddy knew that as well. Callie desperately wanted to be the bigger person here and just give Arizona the letter. She knew it was the right thing to do, she knew that eventually she had to do it. But. There was always a but.

Callie knew as soon as she gave that letter to Arizona their relationship would change forever. Everything they had built up until this point would be lost, everything they had shared and told each other would be forgotten, because the only thing the blonde would be able to focus on after that, was the letter and the fact that Callie had let Tim die. Callie often wondered what Arizona would think of the fact that she had known Tim, that they had been friends and had spent time together. When Callie flung out at night it was because of Tim, her friend, that she hadn't been able to save. She was a damn good doctor, but this one time, the one time that it mattered the most, the one time she had needed to be the best. And she failed. When Callie looked in the mirror these days that was what she saw, her failure and how she had let Tim down. And now, Arizona.

God. Why couldn't Tim have lived? She asked herself this question a hundred times a day. How different things would have been for all of them.

“Can you be so sure about that?” Teddy asked and neither was sure if they were talking physically or emotionally.

“I'm trying Teddy, really I am, I'm trying so, so hard. And I know you see that and Owen sees it and Arizona for sure sees it. So please, can you just help me and give me the benefit of the doubt. Please.”

“I want to Callie, I really do, but I also want to know that you aren't going to do something you can't fix. If you hurt her, are you going to be able to live with yourself? And I don't just mean physically. Emotionally too. Can you honestly tell me if you woke up this morning and you saw a bruise on her, that you had put there, you'd be okay with that?” Callie blinked back the tears in the back of her eyes as her friend spoke. “I know you think I'm being hard on you, that I'm being a bitch. But I'm only looking out for you here, because I really don't think you'd be okay with hurting her.”

“Hey!” Arizona chipperly called out as she walked into the room seeing the two women squaring off, teddy still had her arms crossed and looked upset. “We are going to go to breakfast, you want to join us?” Arizona asked grabbing Callie's hand and holding onto it, feeling that the woman might need a little boost. She didn't know what the two friends had been talking about but from the looks of it, it wasn't good.

“No, I've been up all night working, I'm going to head off to sleep, thanks though.” Teddy walked out of the room leaving the two women so they could go for breakfast.

“You know what, maybe I should just go….” Callie started, Arizona saw that her entire demeanor had changed since she had gone to change.

“No way. You were going to try and get out of our breakfast date and I'm not letting you. Let's go, we'll stop by your place, you can get cleaned up and then we are off to breakfast.” Arizona had a very stern look on her face and Callie knew that it would be pointless to try and argue with her right now.

“Okay,” Callie walked out of the apartment with Arizona, hands linked and off to their date. As they walked out of the apartment Arizona leaned in and gave Callie a peck on the cheek, which earned her a smile, then she leaned in and gave her a bigger kiss on the lips. Which earned her the full on Callie smile. Arizona was growing addicted to that smile, though she seldom saw it, she knew she wanted to be the one to bring that smile back to her all the time.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Callie and Arizona entered her apartment, hands linked and smiles on their faces. Arizona had just been thinking to herself how relaxed the brunette was right then. Her face was relaxed, there was some definite lightness in her steps as the walked, occasionally hip checking each other and extra squeezes with their hands. Arizona was sure this was something she wanted to get used to. She was falling head over heels for the other woman, despite all her troubles and insecurities, she found herself drawn to Callie. Sometimes she would watch the other woman and she could see ease in her work, the way she talked to the patients she could see just how much the other woman cared. 

There were times where Callie would harden up, hide herself from the world around her, but as of late, she had stopped doing that around Arizona. She seldom held back from her, letting herself enjoy life a little more, and when Arizona saw that smile, that huge smile that reached her eyes and her face well that just about made the blonde melt. 

“You got another notice about the pinning ceremony,” they heard as they entered the apartment and Callie immediate went rigid and dropped her hand from the blonde. Arizona glanced to the brunette and saw her face harden, her smile disappear, and the air shifted. Owen was thrusting a piece of mail at the brunette now and standing in front of her, waiting for a response which came only a second later when Callie took the piece of mail and ripped it in half, threw it on the counter and stared at the man.

“I told you I wasn't going. Now, I have to go get dressed,” then she turned towards the blonde that stood there with a perplexed look on her face. She wasn't sure what had just happened, but the entire mood had shifted in the brunette and not for the better. She was as more like when Arizona had first met her, closed off and angry. “I'll be right back,” Callie told Arizona and walked out of the room.

“Callie!” Owen said in an angry voice, but she didn't even flinch as she walked away from him. “You can't turn your back on your problems. They aren't going to go away just because you walk out of the room.” He turned back to Arizona once the brunette was completely gone, he was clearly angry so Arizona gave him a toothy grin to try and lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to help in the slightest.

“Pinning ceremony?” She asked, wondering if she even should since it really wasn't any of her business, but at the moment it was the only thing on her mind so she figured she should just ask. She raised her eyebrows at the man when he gave her a look like he was trying to decide if he should say anything.

“Callie is being given an award for medics in combat, and the ceremony is coming up, they keep sending all these notices for her, but she keeps throwing them away.”

“Maybe she isn't ready to go,” Arizona said quietly not wanting Callie to hear them talking about her. She wasn't sure what the other woman would think of she knew they were discussing her business, but she was pretty certain she could guess.

“It doesn't matter she has to go, this is a really big deal, and besides she needs to go and get some closure out of it. Can you talk to her about it, see if you can convince her to go? I think would really good for her.”

Arizona nodded her head in agreement as she thought about the brunette and how she would even broach the subject with her. She could only imagine how that would go and pushed the thought from her head for the time being. 

“Any thoughts on when you're going to reinstate her in the OR?” She asked hopefully, wondering if she was getting closer to it happening. She knew what it meant for a surgeon to be benched from work and to watch colleagues get to continue working all the time. She also knew it would be a real boost for Callie to be let back in.

“I have….I've seen some progress by her lately and I've been happy with what I've seen, but I still don't think she's there. I know she isn't sleeping through the night yet and also this pinning ceremony is troublesome for me. I want her to start taking some steps in the direction of healing from her time over there, but she still seems to be denying her past. I really think she's getting close, but I'm not ready to let her in there just yet.”

Arizona sighed in defeat, she knew Callie had been working so hard, but she also knew Owen was right too. She gave the man a little nod and vowed then and there she would help the brunette get over the next big hurdle if that was what it took. 

“I'll see you later Owen, thanks,” she said and walked towards Callie's room, then stood outside the room for a second before she gave it a little knock. The other woman had been in there for awhile and Arizona really had hoped Callie would be out by now. Arizona decided she should check on Callie since she had been gone so long. 

“Come in,” she heard and opened the door timidly only yo find Callie sitting on the bed her hands in her hands, clearly crying.

“Callie?” Arizona called as she shut the door behind her and crossed the room, kneeling in front of the brunette. She placed her hands over the hands hiding the face that was pouring out tears, then leaned in and gave her a kiss on the temple. “Hey,” she whispered to the other woman, grabbing a tissue and having it ready, “know how to make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it,” she smiled at the brunette as she raised her red face from her hands, and flipped the tissue in the air, waving it in front of the now smiling brunette.

“You are crazy,” Callie smiled bright and took the tissue from the blonde and wiped her eyes with it. “I don't think I'm up for breakfast…..”

“Well that's just ridiculous,” Arizona looked at the brunette, not accepting the answer. “I know this is hard, I know you are struggling right now, but Callie, I keep telling you….I'm here for you. I am. I keep telling you that. Now tell me about this pinning ceremony,” she was kneeling in front of the brunette still and took her hands back in hers while she waited.

“They have invited me to this ceremony for field doctors, we are part of a group of combat doctors that are being recognized for our work on the lines, assisting groups.”

“Well that sounds amazing! You HAVE to be proud of yourself for this! This is amazing!” Arizona tried to encourage the brunette but saw the tears start to well up again as Callie dropped her face again. “What? Tell me, what could be wrong with this? That you are such an amazing person, such an amazing doctor that you are getting a special award that only a handful of people get each year.”

Arizona looked at the brunette as she waited patiently for Callie to tell her why she didn't want the award. Arizona had a good idea what she was going to say, but she knew that the brunette needed to say it out loud. She needed to start to admitting things, it would only help her in the long run.

“I feel like...I haven't done anything to deserve this award. I think…”

“Let me stop you right there,” Arizona caught the chin of the other woman and lifted it so she could look her in the eye. “You are a wonderful doctor, and you did one of the most courageous things anyone could ever do. You were on the lines, in a war zone, pledging to keep your fellow soldiers alive. You deserve this award and every single other award they could give you. So don't sit there and tell me you didn't do anything to be nominated for this.”

Callie was shaking her head as Arizona spoke, not wanting to hear what the other woman was telling her.

“Stop shaking your head,” Arizona laughed a little at the movements of the other woman. “You need to own this, it's holding you back, Callie. I know that you still have all this self worth swimming around in your head, but you have to start believing the things we are all telling you. You. Are. Great.” Arizona pointedly said and the brunette raised her head to look into the eyes of the other woman. 

“Arizona…”

“You. Are. Great. You have to start believing it. Say it.”

“No way!” Callie laughed a little dropping her face so she didn't have to look at the other woman anymore.

“Yes. You have to start believing it, and today is the day. We are going to get you back in the OR and off to that pinning ceremony and i'm not leaving here until you do. And trust me, I'm stubborn, I'll wait in this room for daaaaays. And then eventually I'll start to smell and I'll probably get hungry at some point and I'm kind of picky with food so you'll have to go to specialty markets to get my snacks and oh! My patients! They are going to wonder where I am so they will start to hound you and you don't want all those kids running up to you saying “where is doctor Robbins?” Because trust me, they are relentless….”

“Arizona!” Callie was out right laughing now.

“Say it,” Arizona waited for the brunette to make a move. She knew she had them in a good spot now, she had Callie feeling a little better, and knew she might be able to get her to do it. “Say it.”

Callie looked down at her feet and finally Arizona heard her voice. “I am great,” she mumbled out then started to stand. “Now let's go.”

“Oh heck no. You were just placating me! You didn't believe that. Say it and mean it!” Arizona pulled Callie back down so she was sitting. Callie let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. “Do it, or smelly hungry doctor Robbins is going to live in this room!”

“I am great,” Callie said a little louder this time, but there was still hesitancy.

“Louder.”

“You're very bossy,” Callie deadpanned at the blonde.

“You have no idea. Now say it and mean it,” Arizona grabbed the hands of her girlfriend and gave her a little squeeze. “Come on, I know you can.”

Callie stared at the other woman, and saw something in her eyes, it was there, clearly yelling at her, there was love there, she was sure of it. And it melted her heart right then, into a pool of jelly.

“I. Am. Great,” Callie firmly said and it was such a good statement that it brought a smile to the blonde.

“Again.”

“I. Am. Great.”

“Yeah you are. Again.”

“I. Am. Great.” This time it was louder than all the others combined, it was such a good statement that Arizona stood up and brought the brunette with her.

“Louder.” They were both standing in Callie's room now, face to face, Arizona cheering her on.

“I. Am. Great!” Callie used a voice that the blonde hadn't heard, it was full of confidence and Arizona saw how amazing Callie was.

“You. Are. Great!”

“I. Am. Great!” Callie yelled it this time and grabbed the blonde up in a hug, pulling her in and holding her tight. 

“You really are,” Arizona pulled back and looked into the eyes of the brunette and saw for the first time the confidence that must have driven her when she was over there and she knew that the woman was just needing the courage to own up and be that person again. “You really are.”

“Thank you,” Callie leaned in and gave the blonde a kiss, then held her in a tight hug. 

“Now come on,” Arizona pulled away from the brunette, “you promised me breakfast and my stomach is starting to growl.”

“Deal, and now that I don't have to feed you in my room, we can leave.”

“Mmmmm,” Arizona started to walk out, “i don't know that I would mind that much....” Callie stopped and let her mouth drop open as she thought about all the implications in that statement, feeling her heart rate rise and the sweat on her palms gather as she started following the blonde again. She let her mind wander for a moment then looked at the perky blonde next to her, huge dimpled smile on her face, then let her mind wander a little more. She needed to stop this now!


	18. Chapter 18

Arizona came flying around the corner, late for surgery since her last one had held her up, and saw her girlfriend standing at the end of the hallway. It brought an immediate smile to her face. But then the smile faded. She was talking to Owen head was down, staring at the floor while he was visibly talking stern to her. He was waving his arms around while he spoke, but she had yet to raise her head. She was in distress, there was no doubt about it. Arizona flipped out her wheels and took off down the hall, coming to a screech as slid in next to the duo.

“Hey!” She chipped in, her normal happy self, trying to ignore the fact that he was just being rude to her girlfriend.

“Hey,” Callie looked up at the blonde, Arizona could see the relief in her body, her face relaxed, her shoulders dropped a little as they had been on edge. Arizona reached an arm out and massaged her back a little, then looked up at the man in front of them. “Owen.” Arizona dug her heels in and looked at the man.

“Arizona. I was just talking to Callie about a few things.”

“I know. I saw that.” She puffed out her chest a little and continued to run circles around Callie’s back, staring back at the man.

“Don’t you have a surgery?” He asked, clearly he wasn’t done talking to the woman.

“I do, but I always have time for what’s important to me.”

“Callie, we will finish this later,” Owen, obvious to the fact that he wasn’t getting anywhere now that the blonde had entered the scene, left the two standing as he walked away.

“Come on,” Arizona pulled on Callie’s hand, dragging her into an on call room. When the door closed she wrapped her arms around the brunette, feeling the other woman relax completely under her touch. “Hey….how’s your day been, other than whatever was going on out there?” Arizona pulled them to the bed nearby and sat down, pulling Callie with her.

“Long,” was the only reply. They had been dating for a few weeks now, things were getting better between the two of them, Arizona could tell Callie had finally let her guard down around the blonde, but over time it had become very apparent to Arizona that mood changed. And that mood changed most visibly when Teddy and Owen came around her. There was something stern in the way they treated the woman, maybe it was the military in them, but when she was around them, she reverted into her shell and tried to hide. Her mood changed, her demeanor changed and Arizona was not fond of it. It had become very apparent to her that treating Callie like she was still in the military, demanding things of her, ordering her to do things, only made her recoil and hide.

“You know, I have dinner sitting in my fridge at home, it's been waiting alllllll day for me to come home and cook it for me and my girlfriend. But I have surgery now, and I’m not going to be able to get to it…..what do you think I should do about that?” Arizona smiled as she saw a small smile creep up on Callie’s face.

“I suppose I could go to your place and cook it for you and your girlfriend. What she like anyway? This girl?”

“Well! She’s amazing, I can’t stop staring at her, and I hear she is an amazing surgeon, though I still haven’t had the opportunity to see that. Is that what your argument was about?” Callie nodded her head.

“Yeah, Owen says he won’t release me back for surgery until I agree to go to this pinning ceremony. He says it would be good for me to show up, acknowledge my service and the men and women that will be there.”

“And what do you think about that?” Callie was quiet as she chewed on the inside of her lip, thinking about her response.

“I think I am done with that part of my life and I don’t want to be reminded of it all the time. Everytime i turn around there is a horrible reminder of my time over there, and I need some closure.”

“Maybe this could be your closure,” Arizona offered. “You know...I’d go with you, I’d be right by your side the whole time if you wanted to do this.Even if we got all the way there and you decided you didn’t want to do it, I’d be okay with that. I’m never going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I will encourage you.”

Callie looked down at her hands, and pulled Arizona’s into hers, playing it as she contemplated what she wanted to say. Running her fingers around the lines on the strong hand in hers.

“You're late,” Callie said releasing her hand and looking up.

“It’ll be okay, they still needed to prep. I have a few minutes. What do you say?”

“I say...I’ll go to your place and grab the food, Teddy is home tonight, but Owen is working, we can be….by ourselves…” Callie said slowly and looked at the blonde, staring at her, wondering if she understood what she meant. Arizona’s eyebrows nearly shot out of her head, because she did, she understood exactly what Callie was telling her, and she couldn’t believe it. They had been spending most nights together, but up until this point they still hadn’t “sealed the deal”, up until now they had kept good on their promise to take things slowly. But Callie knew looking at the blonde, how much she meant to her. She was falling in love with this woman, there was no doubt, and she knew it was finally time to tell her, and show her.

“Yeah?” Arizona croaked out, then cleared her throat. “Yeah?” She repeated then laughed a little. “Okay, well I guess that is...okay...ummmm...yeah. You sure?” she asked looking at the brunette, leaning her head in so their foreheads were bumped up to each others, their faces close. Arizona reached up with her hand, and caressed the cheek next to hers and smiled, then leaned in for a kiss. “Okay, you grab the food and head to your place. I have this surgery, it shouldn’t take long, and when it’s over I’ll come over. Maybe we can talk a little more, about the pinning ceremony too. Okay?”

“Yeah, that’s good,” Callie closed her eyes as the blonde talked to her. She had a way of soothing the brunette when she spoke and Callie loved it.

“Okay, I have to go now, but I’ll see you later tonight….bye,” Arizona stole another kiss then hopped up from the bed.

Callie watched her leave and knew that tonight was the night for them, but she also decided that tonight she would give her the letter. She had been avoiding doing it all this time, but she knew that tonight she would let her read whatever Tim had written and tell her that she had been Tim’s friend and doctor. 

Xxxxxx

Arizona took off from the on call room and shot down the hallway, when she rounded the corner she slammed right into Owen. When he turned, she gave him a little scowl.

“You know, maybe you could talk to her differently.” She said, straightening her coat.

“What?”

“She doesn’t respond to yelling, and the way you talk to her. She needs understanding, and the way you talk to her is the opposite of that. Maybe you could start talking to her differently.”

“I don’t talk to her any certain way.”

“You do. You treat her like the two of you are still over there in the battle field and she is a soldier under your care. But she isn’t. She is an adult, a surgeon at this hospital and you are her boss. She doesn’t react well to yelling and the stern voice, maybe you could change the way you treat her, she might react better to you.” Arizona could see the anger rising in Owen’s face, his red meter going up as she spoke to him. She knew he didn’t like what she was telling him, but she also didn’t care at this point. She had watched this man bully her girlfriend ever since Callie had returned, and Arizona was tired of it.

 

“Robbins, you have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Oh, but I do. I see how she is with her patients, the nurses, the other doctors and the only people that make her hide from herself are you and Teddy. You need to start treating her like a civilian, she is back, you are back, you are doctors, and until you treat her like that, she isn’t ever going to get better. She wants to get better, she is trying, she has been going through all your hoops, and doing all your requests, but you need to change how you treat her.” Arizona nodded at the man and took off for her surgery, leaving the stunned man behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

Arizona could hear the music coming out of the apartment as she walked down the hall, it brought a smile to her face, even though she wasn’t sure what was on the other side of the door, but she didn’t think it could be bad. The door was slightly open and as she hesitantly pushed it open she peered inside to see her girlfriend in the kitchen, arms above her head, hips swaying as she danced to the music. Arizona felt her mouth drop as she watched the display in front of her, this was beyond wonderful. She dropped her bag by the door, after she closed it and cleared the room to come up behind Callie. She placed her hands on the hips that were moving in front of her, causing Callie to swing around in alarm, but once she saw it was Arizona, a huge smile came to her face and she continued to dance. 

Callie turned and looped her arms around the neck of Arizona as she moved, the beat of the music was fast, it was a Spanish song that Arizona didn’t know, but she liked what it was doing for Callie.

“You’re in a very good mood,” Arizona admitted as she watched the smiling woman in front of her.

“I have every right to be. I am making dinner for my beautiful, amazing and supportive girlfriend tonight. I am going to wine and dine her, telling her and showing her just how great she is. Oh and Owen gave me the okay today to return to the OR,” Callie smile was huge but it was no comparison to the one that came to Arizona’s when she heard the last part of the admission. 

Arizona jumped up into Callie’s arms, yelling, “You did it!!! I knew you could!!”

Callie couldn’t stop smiling even if she had wanted to. She knew without a doubt just how excited for her Arizona was going to be. She had been trying so hard...scratch that...they had been trying so hard to get Callie back to this point and she was finally there. Months of hard work, counseling and self realization had brought her back to this point. There was no doubt in Callie’s mind she would not be here today, at this point if it hadn’t been for Arizona. She knew just how much the blonde had played into all of this, and Callie owed her so much.

“We did it,” Callie told her pulling back and looking at the blonde. “We did it. Arizona, i can’t ever thank you enough for what you did for me. Without your support and help along the way, I never would have made it this far. I know that, and no matter what, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for being such an amazing person.”

“Callie, I supported you, but you did this. This is all you. You have worked for this since day one, and there is no doubt in my mind you deserve this. I’m so proud of you.”

Callie turned back to their dinner, turning the stove off and grabbing plates. “Hope you’re hungry, I went to the store and bought my own ingredients, I know you had dinner waiting at your place, but I wanted to make something a little nicer.”

“Nicer?! I had a nice dinner planned!” Arizona grabbed a wine glass while she gave her girlfriend a hard time.

“I know you did, but I wanted to make something all on my own for you. You cook for me all the time, and I wanted to show you that I could cook too. So I made us something special, it’s a traditional meal my mother used to make us when we were celebrating. So I thought I’d make it for us.” She went back to plating the meal then turned to see her girlfriend staring at her. “You’re beautiful,” Callie smiled at the woman, then gave her a peck on the lips. Arizona felt herself melt into her girlfriend, then wrapped her arms around the waist of the woman.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Arizona told her and looked up to see the brunette smiling down at her.

“Come on, let's eat this before it gets cold,” She said and took the plates to the table. Arizona wondered if she should tell Callie about the conversation she had with Owen earlier in the day, but decided against it. She knew this was an internal victory for the woman and didn’t want to take that away from her. Someday she might tell her, but for now, she knew how important it was to the brunette that she had gained back her OR privileges.

“How was the rest of your day?” Callie asked as they made small talk through dinner. So far the moment had been all about her, and she wanted to be an attentive girlfriend. She knew just how much of their conversations had been spent on Callie up until now, and she knew that now she needed to start spending more time on her girlfriend. 

Callie was in awe of how lucky she had been with Arizona. Tim was right, was all she could think, Arizona was amazing.

“Torres! Last thing I’m going to tell you about my sister,” Tim said entering the mess hall and sitting next to her.

“Oh jeez, are we on this again?” She asked and rolled her eyes.

“Hey! This is important, she deserves the best and I’ve decided that you might be as close as she is ever going to get. Be happy I’m allowing you to date my sister.”

“Oh, allowing huh?” She said laughing at him.

“Yeah! This is a big deal, I’m her big brother, it’s my responsibility to make sure she doesn’t end up with a real loser, I have to make sure she ends up with the best.”

A huge smile crossed Callie’s face, “You’re telling me I’m the best?!”

“No, no that’s not what I’m saying….”

“It is! You think I’m the best!”

“Torres, I never said you were the best, I said you were as good as it was going to get.”

“Awwww, Tim, you care!!” She said punching him in the arm.

“About my sister! I care about my sister, now if you aren’t going to take this serious, I’m going to go over there and start talking to Martinez about Arizona.” Callie peered over his shoulder at Martinez then back at him.

“No way, not a chance,” She told him with a smile. “You know I’m the best!” Tim rolled his eyes at her.

“Don’t give me any lip, Torres! Now, when you leave here, you have to go to Seattle and find her, and you can’t be taking her for granted, you got that? She is awesome, and so you need to ask her about her day, and….”

“Tim, I know how to date a woman, she won’t be my first…” Callie laughed at him.

“Yeah but she is going to be your last, so I have to make sure you don’t screw this up.”

“Callie?” Callie heard and blinked, shaking her head slightly. 

“Sorry, I was just thinking about something for a second.” She needed to not screw this up, she had promised him.

Arizona stood up, reaching for Callie’s hand, pulling her up with her. Callie stood up and looked at the blonde, Arizona gave her a little smile and pulled the woman along as she walked backwards towards Callie’s room. She reached back with her hand on the doorknob and looked up at the brunette.

“Yeah?” She asked, eyebrows arched, hoping that they had been on the same page about this. Callie gave her a crooked smile, leaned down and kissed the blonde on the lips.

“Yeah,” she told her as the blonde pushed the door open and they walked in.

Xxxxxxxx

Callie woke up hours later, exhausted and thirsty from their time together. The blonde was next to her, smiling in her sleep, and Callie couldn’t help when she leaned over and kissed the lips of the blonde. She also felt how cold the woman was, and realized the covers had fallen off her. Arizona opened her eyes and looked up to the brunette that was above her pulling the covers over her.

“Hey,” She croaked. “What are you doing?”

“I woke up and was thirsty, and saw how cold you were. Go back to sleep.” Callie leaned down and kissed the blonde. 

“Nope, I’m awake now, warm me up,” Arizona scooted in closer to the brunette allowing her body to be warmed by Callie.

“Hey…” Callie said after a few minutes and Arizona looked up at her. “I just wanted to let you know, thanks, for being so patient all this time with me. I don’t know a lot of people that would do that, but you, you have been amazing all these months, and I just wanted to say thanks.”

“You don’t have to tell me thanks, I’m your girlfriend,” Arizona smiled at her and just nuzzled closer.

“But I do, I feel like i do and I just wanted to tell you, how amazing I think you are. Because you are amazing Arizona, and I love you,” Callie said quietly and felt the blonde pull back a little and look at her. Callie dared a look down at the blonde, unsure of what she would see, and a little scared, but what she saw was Arizona with the most adoring look on her face.

“I love you too, honey,” She said and pulled the brunette down for a kiss. Callie let the moment pass as they held each other.

“Hey, I have a question for you, and you can say no if you want, but it’s kind of important and I just wanted to know, if you would go my group meeting with me tomorrow night...well actually now that it’s 3:06 in the morning, it would actually be tonight. See we are supposed to being someone with us that has been really important to us during our recovery and that person has been you. So i was wondering if you would like to go with me?”

“Of course,” Arizona pulled the brunette to her again and hugged her. She knew it had been hard for her to ask. “You sure you want me, would you like to ask Owen or Teddy to go with you?” Callie shook her head vigorously.

“No way, I want you to be there with me, you’ve helped me with all of this, and I can’t thank you enough. I love you Arizona Robbins, and there is no one i want there with me tonight more than you.” Callie started to sit up, she really needed to get a drink, as she sat up, her hand grabbed onto Arizona’s ice cold feet. “Arizona! Your feet are freezing!”

“I know, hey do you care if I grab some socks? Would you get me a water too?” She asked as she sat up.

“Of course, socks are in the top drawer,” Callie told her, giving her a kiss and taking off for the kitchen. She grabbed two glasses and filled them with water, and the smile that crept over her was one that could never be taken away from her. She took a big drink from her glass and filled it again, then….a sinking feeling came over her. She looked up in fear and went running for the bedroom.

There, sitting on the bed was Arizona, socks on her feet and an envelope in her hand. She had slipped on clothes at some point, but she stared at the envelope that was in her hands. When she heard Callie enter, it took her a moment to look up.

“Why do you have this?” She asked. Her name was written on the front of the envelope, along with her address and it was very clearly written in her brother's handwriting. 

Callie straightened up her shoulders and looked at the blonde, she was trying to say something, but there was nothing she could say at the moment that would make this situation right.

“Callie! Why do yo have this?” Arizona’s head flipped up to see the brunette standing in the door, tears coming down her face as she stood there. “Did you know my brother?” Callie still couldn't find her voice, and instead nodded her head. “And what...so this whole time you knew Tim, but you never thought to tell me?” Callie, looked at Arizona, tears were coming down her face as well now. She stood up and walked to the burnette. “How well did you know him?”

Callie closed her eyes but it didn’t stop the tears that were streaming down her face. “I was friends with him, and I was also his doctor.” Arizona blinked when she heard the last part.

“Wait...what? What do you mean you were his doctor? You were his...doctor? What do you mean? When he….were you there when he….died?” Arizona almost couldn’t stand as she sputtered out the words. “Callie!” She yelled, making the brunette open her eyes. “Were you with him when he died?”

“Yes….” Callie whispered out and she saw Arizona double over at her words. 

“Oh my god….” Arizona rested her hands on her knees, bent over, willing herself not to throw up. Then she stood up and looked at the brunette, saw her crying but didn’t care. “You lied to me….all this time...you lied. You told me you loved me, and you lied.”

“No! That’s not true…”

“It is! It’s true, because you don’t lie to the person that you love. How could you keep this from me? How could you do this? I have been nothing but supportive of you all this time, and yet….you lied to me. You knew him and you’ve had this letter all this time, and you didn’t think to tell me all this? You didn’t think I’d want to know the person that spent the last moment of my brothers life with him? Callie!?” Arizona was yelling now, and Callie had stopped responding. Arizona grabbed her shoes and the letter, taking off out of the room.

Callie slid down the door frame as she heard the front door close.What had she done?


	20. Chapter 20

**There is one chapter left in this story, after this one. It will be an epilogue to the story. Hope you all enjoyed....**

 

 

 

Callie sat down at the counter and couldn't even find it in herself to cry. This was her own fault, she had brought this all on herself by not just giving the letter to Arizona when she first met her. If she had given it to her on the airplane all those months ago she could have saved herself a lot of heartache.

She sighed and grabbed her phone, staring at it. It wasn't stone she made some changes, she had promised she would make the necessary changes a long time ago and she had failed to do it. She had been doing a lot, but there was still so much work to be done.

She had to hope at this point that she would be able finish up making all the necessary steps to make herself better. She still had so much work to do. She had promised to get herself a place of her own, she needed to stop relying on others, and needed to make these moves on her own. She had to do this.

Callie was puttering around in the kitchen when Owen walked in.

“Hey, want some coffee?” She held up a cup but he shook his head.

“I've been on all night, it's time for sleep, if I drink that I won't be able to sleep.” He stood and stared at her waiting to see what else she might have to say.

“I've decided to go to the pinning ceremony, I've also decided I need to get a place of my own..”

“Callie…” but she held up her hand stopping him.

“No, it's time I try to gain some of my independence back, and you're right about the ceremony. I think it has the potential to give me some closure on that part of my life.”

“Where is Robbins?” Callie gave him a sad smile, and he knew he had hit a soft spot.

“She left, I haven't been truthful with her about some things and last night she found out about them. I can't blame her for leaving, she had every right to be mad.”

“Is that why you decided to make these changes?” Callie thought for a moment.

“Yes and no. I need to make these changes for me, before I can be good for anyone else. I'm never going to be able to be the type of girlfriend to her that I want to be if I don't fix myself first. So yes, I'm doing this for her, but I'm doing it for myself so I can be the best for her.”

“Good for you….I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for the way things went down for you over there. You saw more than teddy and I ever saw and I know that really affected you…”

“I was with Tim, when he died,” Owen gave her a curious look. “Arizona’s brother, I was with him, and he was there, bleeding out and we both knew he wasn't going to make it. There was no chance he was going to survive his wounds and there was nothing I could do to save him. But he was my friend, and a really great friend, and you know what was the one thing he talked about the most? Arizona. He loved her so much, and wanted to make sure she was taken care of. He wanted so much to know that even though he wasn't going to live, that he knew she was happy. That she was going to have love and be taken care of. We knew each other for around six months or so and in that time he spent almost every waking moment trying to get me to fall in love with her,” she was smiling now as she thought about her friend and it brought a smile to Owen's face too.

“He sounds like he was a great guy.”

“He really was,” she agreed nodding her head and thinking about her friend.

“So you going to do it?”

“What?” She asked wondering what he meant.

“Take care of his sister? Seemed like it was really important to him.”

“Oh yeah, I don't know...that's up to her now. I really screwed up.”

“You'll never know if you don't try.”

“You know what? You're right. Look, I have to get ready for my first big day at work, my boss is letting me get back in the OR today and I don't want to screw that chance up. Plus I need to call a real estate agent, I'm going to buy myself a house, put down some permanent roots here and stop being a drifter.”

“Hope everything goes well today for you and your boss, he sounds amazing!” Owen laughed as he walked out of the room.

Callie sat down at the kitchen counter and looked at her phone and plugged in a number she hadn't called in years but one she still knew by heart and when she heard the click on the other end and felt her anxiety level rise.

“Hello?”

“Daddy?”

Xxxxxxxxxx

Callie walked up to her meeting, she was walking slow as she knew she was going to be the only person there tonight that didn't bring someone. She had briefly considered asking Owen just so she'd have someone but she didn't want a replacement for Arizona. She really had wanted Arizona to be there with her.

She'd had a good day at work. Not good. It had been great, but the only bad part was she had no one to share her victories with. She had worked on three surgeries and she felt a huge wave of adrenaline after. She felt alive again, she knew she was well on the way to her recovery now.

She had even called a real estate agent and set up a time over the weekend to look at a few homes close to the hospital. It was time for her to stop running and live her life again, and she was ready.

As she walked up the steps she stopped halfway up when she saw the blonde standing at the top of the stairs, smiling down at her. Callie took a huge gulp then cleared the last remaining steps.

“Arizona?”

“I just wanted to say, I'm mad, I'm still mad at you but I understand why you did it and if you want me to I'd like to accompany you tonight.” Callie just stood with her mouth open, she wasn't sure what to say.

“On one condition, if we move forward I have to know that you won't ever lie to me again, I'm still mad, but that doesn't mean I don't want to continue to try. Are you willing to continue?” Callie nodded her head vigorously.

“Yes.”

“Okay then, I want to go with you tonight, and I'd like to continue to date and if you'd like to talk about it at some point, I'd like to hear about your friendship with Tim.” Callie smiled when she heard that.

“I'd love to talk to you about Tim. And I just want you to know, I want to try, and I'm going to continue to get better. I took a couple of huge steps today and I was sad you weren't there for me to tell about them.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Well...I called my parents,” she said quietly and Arizona’s eyes shot up. “And we talked, they've missed me and they want to try to have a relationship again. They invited me to come to their house for a weekend and asked if I could bring my girlfriend. And they said yeah, they'd like to meet her, but I have to know, do I still have a girlfriend?” Arizona waited a minute while she took it all in.

“Yeah, you still have a girlfriend,” Arizona smiled at Callie and held out her hand. “Come on, let's go in together and later on you can take me out for dinner and tell me all about the rest of your day.”

“Yeah?” Callie reached out and touched the hand that was before her, and grabbed it quickly wanting to make sure it didn't disappear.

“Yeah. Come on,” Arizona started walking into the building with Callie by her side.

_Arizona,_

_Well if you're reading this we both know what that means. But we don't want to talk about that. I wanted to let you know you're my best friend and I love you, and I have always been so proud of you. Everything you've done has been amazing and I'm always talking about my brilliant baby sister._

_I met this girl over here and I'm telling you, she was made for you. I knew it when I first met her. So if anything happens to me over here you have to promise me you'll find her. Her name is Callie Torres and I've told her all about you, and so now I just have to hope you two meet up._

_She's amazing, and the only person I've met that I think might give you a run for your Money in the “awesome” department. She is an amazing friend and the best doctor I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, I know you're a doctor but I've never seen you work. She works under the harshest conditions, making sure we stay safe and helping us when she can. I work under pressure all the time, but what she does, I can't even tell you how amazing I find her._

_And the thing is Sis, I've been telling her all about you and how amazing you are and how I want her to find you and for her to take care of you, but truth be told. You need to find her and take care of her. She's gonna need it after being over here. And I'm sure she is going to screw some things up along the way, but be patient with her. She deserves it._

_So Sis, I love you, and I'll see you someday. Oh! And if you have any boys, you have to name them all Tim! Okay, maybe just one of them Tim, and tell him all about his amazing uncle._

_Love you  
Tim_

 

 


	21. Epilogue

“Timmy, look at mama, look at mama,” Callie was calling to her little boy. He was standing all on his own and was looking back and forth between her and Arizona, he wanted to take those first few steps. She knew he did.

“Callie, maybe we should just let him do it when he's ready, he's clearly not ready,” Arizona said standing up and grabbing her son up in her arms. “Huh baby, you'll walk when you're ready?”

“I know,” Callie pouted looking at her wife and their amazing son. “It's just that my parents are here and your parents are here and it's his first birthday and it all seems so perfect, I just thought maybe a little extra encouragement might help him do it.”

“He doesn't need to walk, he has two doting mothers that never let his feet touch the ground,” Arizona laughed at her wife and gave her a small peck on the lips. “Leave him be, he'll do it when he wants to,” Arizona walked off with their son to grab him some milk and her some water.

“You know some cultures that a thing, they never let their feet touch the ground.”

“Stop trying to justify why you carry him all the time!” Arizona called over her shoulder.

“You're actually carrying him, right now as you tell me that. You know that right? You're just as bad!” Arizona just gave her a wave from over her shoulder and kept walking with the boy.

Callie couldn't help herself, after years of counseling and sessions with her therapist she had overcome a lot of her hurdles, and was at the best point of her life. She was married to the most amazing woman that graced the earth and they had the absolute most precious child. She looked at that little boy and all she saw was love and she was certain she was never going to be able to love anything the way she loved the two of them.

Which scared her, because they had started to try again and while she felt like her cup was overflowing with love, she found herself questioning whether she could love another one as much. She had thought that when they had gotten pregnant the first time. She would look at Arizona and know there wa no possible way she could love anyone or child as much as she loved Arizona. 

And then Timmy came along and she would find herself looking at the two of them and actually catching her breath because she was so in love. She didn't know how it was possible to have that much love in her heart, but she found out she did. And now that they were wanting a second one she was questioning herself again. Could she find even more love in her heart for them?

“Callie we are ready to do the cake,” she heard her wife call from the house and looked inside. Her entire life was standing in that house, everyone that mattered to her was in there ready to celebrate the life of her son. Owen and Cristina were standing next to each other with their son, Teddy and Henry were trying to scoop ice cream on plates, Addison was standing holding her son, her parents were talking to Timmy while Arizona and her parents tried to light the one candle on the cake. 

She knew Arizona was stressed that Timmy was going to burn himself on the candle. Callie had spent over an hours worth of conversations with her wife on just that topic. She wanted to use a fake candle but Callie assured her over and over that the little boy would be just fine. 

She stared into the house through the windows and wondered how she had wound up so lucky. Why had she done to deserve this life she had been granted? 

“Hey!” Arizona came to the door looking at her wife standing in the back yard. “You're going to miss it, come on,” Arizona walked over to her and grabbed her hand pulling her.

“I love you so much Arizona Robbins, in all my life I'll never be able to tell you or show you just how much.” Arizona pulled her wife into her arms and hugged her as she felt the tears form in her eyes.

“Awwwww why do you say stuff like that when we have a house full of people and I'm emotional anyway,” she said pulling back and looking at her wife in the eyes, willing her to understand what she was saying. Callie blinked for a moment and then caught on. “I was waiting for today to get over before I said anything, I didn't want to take away from Timmy’s big day. I'm pregnant,” she told her wife with a huge smile. She knew Callie had been slightly scared to do it again, though she hadn't said why. Arizona knew her fears sometimes grabbed hold of her wife and wouldn't let go and often times she needed a little push. They had been talking about having another for months and finally she was able to give the news to her wife after keeping it in for three days.

“You amaze me,” Callie said.

“Ma!” They heard and saw Timmy standing at the door with all four of his grandparents behind him. “Ma!” He yelled again. Both women looked at him, laughing at his big smile and walked towards him just as he took one step for them.

“Timmy!” Callie yelled while Arizona grabbed her phone to capture the moment. He successfully took four wobbled steps before sitting down just long enough before his mama scooped him up. “Look at you! I'm so proud of you big boy!” Callie twirled him for a second while he laughed, the whole time Arizona filmed the two of them, their laughs were contagious as the rest of the family pouring out to see what the commotion was and saw the little family laughing and smiling together.


End file.
